Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money.Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Different people have different prospective about spending budget on arts and public services. However, investing money on music and theatre plays a pivotal role to uplift the tradition and culture of the nation. Hence, it is necessary to inject monetary aid in public services as well, but it needs to be given priority while allocating budget. Therefore, I will be illustrating my point of view in both sides in this essay below.
To begin with, preserving arts of particular nation means flourishing the culture and tradition the vary nation along with its identification. In addition, it could identify the nation among others in the world. For example, Tajmahal of India is famous for its arts, beauty and uniqueness all over the cosmos. In the same way, nation can beget several prominent figures who are avid lovers of music and theatre and similarly a lot of potential talent personals will be encouraged to expose their hidden arts and by the means of music and arts.
On the other hand, public services must be focused to provide multifarious facilities to the citizen. Therefore, focusing budget on people’s primary needs such as transportation, health and education are inevitable. For instance, if education system is made free for everyone, the literacy rate would be 100% like Norway. Likewise, if the health system is accessible easily to everybody, so many people could get their treatment done easily without financial burden.
To conclude, having kept in mind all the aforementioned ideas, I personally believe that the last one should be given more priority than the first. So, higher money has to be spent on public services and less on arts to maintain the proper balance between them.
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Different people have different prospective
prospective is an Adjective. www.testbig.com/dictionary/search/prospective
Do you mean perspective?
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Pay attention to coherence.
Try this pattern, it may increase Coherence:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1390 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.947 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.106 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5