Children are experiencing increasing educational social and commercial pressures What are the causes What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them

Essay topics:

Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. What are the causes? What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

In today’s world, it is true that children are subjected to various stressors and other mental illnesses due to the pressures from the commercial, academic, and competitive requirements of society. From my perspective, this negative phenomenon can be attributed to numerous reasons, and societies need to take several relevant measures to mitigate these issues.

It can be easily observed that the demand for burdens in many factors faced by children has induced some detriments in their lives as well as the community. On an academic level, it is not an exaggeration to say that without an acceptable result on some critical tests such as the National High School Graduation Examination or gaining various foreign language certificates such as International English Language Testing Systems (IELTS) or exams by the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR), a young adult will struggle to gain admission to a plethora of prestigious universities ahead of their peers. To secure a golden ticket to these educational institutions, students at high school levels usually sacrifice their spare time to play with other friends or do outdoor activities for tedious tutorial classes, as well as the additional time at night to self-study after a long and exhausting day at school. Therefore, children may feel overloaded and under pressure to do well on assignments and tests. If their analyses were lower than they expected, they would experience stress, together with depression, or in the worst-case scenario, commit suicide. To illustrate, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), in numerous countries in East Asia, such as South Korea, China, Japan, and Vietnam, scholars study for approximately 16 hours per day, which causes them to frequently spend a sleepless night trying to learn, associated with a shorter period of sleep, only 3 hours, and this situation is proportional to the number of self-murder cases, about 40,000 cases in these nations, which is one of the highest figures in the world. Furthermore, on a nuclear family level, as the age difference grows larger, it can be seen that the parents and their offspring may share a variety of different opinions. For instance, when kids decided to apply to a social science university, their parents contradicted them because they had a preconception about this major. Instead, parents persuaded them to enroll in a financial university that their sons or daughters did not particularly care about in this field. Consequently, conflicts can occur among family members and their children, causing tension, or even worse, collapse and disconnection in family relationships.

Fortunately, there are a variety of viable solutions that could be adopted to mitigate depression and pressure in children in both academic and social terms. The principal one is that schools and teachers may require a more relaxed classroom atmosphere with an emphasis on cooperation instead of the reliance on competition to push individuals to work harder combined with peer pressure. Besides, they can be allowed to do more extracurricular activities, such as regular physical exercise. Appropriate sports not only reduce the proportion of enduring mental syndromes but also accelerate teenagers’ metabolisms, thereby reducing their chance of developing chronic diseases. As a result, students may feel relaxed after studying for a long time. On top of that, parents can use frequent open communication between them and their sons or daughters to comprehend each difficult issue. Thus, they can help their offspring to set a realistic target based on their authentic interests and potential rather than obstructing children’s aspirations combined with comparing them with their peers. Appropriately, offspring can develop motivation and a passion for learning. Such measures, if implemented, will help diminish the effects children face from heightened stress.

In summary, although pressure can encourage people to challenge their limits to achieve success, I conclude that in the adolescence period, it is illogical for young people to experience pressure too much because this causes specific damage to their mental health. Proper parental guidance, as well as a variety of fundamental changes in school environments, may be the ultimate solution to this problem. Nevertheless, I predict that unless these remedies are adopted as soon as possible, the issues combined with the circumstances leading to the rise in children’s stress will continue to persist in the future.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, furthermore, if, may, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in summary, such as, as a result, as well as, it is true, on top of that

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 7.85571142285 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 25.0 10.4138276553 240% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 24.0651302605 220% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 99.0 41.998997996 236% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 22.0 8.3376753507 264% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3847.0 1615.20841683 238% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 703.0 315.596192385 223% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.47226173542 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14918898149 4.20363070211 122% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04362275461 2.80592935109 108% => OK
Unique words: 398.0 176.041082164 226% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.566145092461 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 1181.7 506.74238477 233% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 5.43587174349 221% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.10420841683 380% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 0.809619238477 741% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.76152304609 252% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 16.0721442886 149% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 20.2975951904 143% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 101.939899233 49.4020404114 206% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 160.291666667 106.682146367 150% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2916666667 20.7667163134 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.875 7.06120827912 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.9879759519 276% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161939813252 0.244688304435 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0504697811156 0.084324248473 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0349984540464 0.0667982634062 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105946567512 0.151304729494 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0199295993564 0.056905535591 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 13.0946893788 145% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 50.2224549098 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 11.3001002004 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.04 12.4159519038 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.47 8.58950901804 122% => OK
difficult_words: 240.0 78.4519038076 306% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.1190380762 134% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.