It is more important for students to study local history instead of global history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is of popular opinion that the emphasis of the historical curriculum should be allocated to the study of the regional past rather than to the global records on account of their conviction in the advantages of focusing on the provincial past. In my honest opinion, while the importance of understanding one' ancestry is undeniable, I have heavy opposition to the argument above due to my belief in the equal cruciality of both lines of history in the development of students for reasons which will be further elaborated in the following paragraphs.
There exist various justifications for the mentioned claim. First and foremost, in today's world, due to the effect of globalization, people are continuously under the influence of external cultures. As such, it is of utmost importance for citizens to have a solid cultural foundation in order to establish their national identities and form their view of the globe. Learning about the history of their people, especially at an early age, will play a vital role in the formation of such foundations for learners since it will instil a sense of pride and patriotism in their lineages. For instance, the resounding victories of the Vietnamese ancestors in their defences of the homeland against foreign invaders are often the source of pride for countless individuals. Additionally, it will teach them of the gruesome price and efforts their current peaceful and happy life has cost for the previous generations, for them to realize their gratification for the lives they have nowadays, which in turn reinforce their cultural roots as they come to understand their traditional values and identities. These will strengthen the cultural background and ethnic identity of students, abling them to keep to their origins under increasing foreign impacts as their nations join in the flow of global development.
However, the notion that all education efforts should be placed on local history is a notion I cannot give my agreement to. While a firm cultural identity is of great need, the ability to hold a well-round and objective perspective of life would prove to be of even higher value for schoolchildren, as future situations in life will place substantial demands on this ability. For instance, when facing an argument, it is essential that people can learn to overcome their biases and subjective viewpoints and to look at the big picture with a view to making the right decision. In order to achieve this capability, it is paramount for pupils to practice a wide and unembellished standpoint during their school years. Therefore, researching global records will be needed for them as studies into international events will allow them to have better knowledge of the causes and reasons and the connections between their history with the bigger picture, refining their capacities for a broader view and enabling them to use their voice to stand with and fight for the righteous. Moreover, having a better understanding of the global past will be a tremendous assistance in the accumulation of knowledge, even of local history, as students will gain insights into various branches of history and events that can prove invaluable in their studies.
In conclusion, on account of the reasons above, while it is necessary for students to study local history, the same could also be said for global history because of the value it brought to the refining of perspective and the link it has to the regional past. Hence, the studies of both of these lines of records should be continued with each other so as to provide pupils with the best education possible.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 348, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...rds should be continued with each other so as to provide pupils with the best education ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, look, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, while, as to, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 7.85571142285 242% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 24.0651302605 199% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 105.0 41.998997996 250% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 20.0 8.3376753507 240% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3013.0 1615.20841683 187% => OK
No of words: 593.0 315.596192385 188% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08094435076 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93473315629 4.20363070211 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89298310685 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 176.041082164 163% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483979763912 0.561755894193 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 945.9 506.74238477 187% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.10420841683 333% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 34.0 20.2975951904 168% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 77.013008383 49.4020404114 156% => OK
Chars per sentence: 177.235294118 106.682146367 166% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.8823529412 20.7667163134 168% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 7.06120827912 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18257746128 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669450997488 0.084324248473 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0526281076391 0.0667982634062 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135568612779 0.151304729494 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329367389803 0.056905535591 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.9 13.0946893788 152% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.97 50.2224549098 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 11.3001002004 147% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.78 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 156.0 78.4519038076 199% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.5 9.78957915832 209% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 15.6 10.1190380762 154% => OK
text_standard: 21.0 10.7795591182 195% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.