the personal information of individuals is held by larger internet companies and organisations Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Essay topics:

the personal information of individuals is held by larger internet companies and organisations.
Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There are a growing concern about storaging private datas of many individuals by major internet companies. In my opinion, the disadvantages of this problem is quire bigger than advantages.
On the one hand, it is argue that those internet companies such as facebook or google storaged a huge information of people all over the world. First thing is to help us having better services. For an illustation, they designed many advertises that suitably with our hobbies or behaviors. we always see a title of restaurant or music that relevant to what you seached. Secondly, the information is used to create helpfully services for customers. google map is the good example for this. it saved our location to show the best way to the place we want to go. making our life more convenient and save time.
On the other hand, the information might be revealed in our future. The advertis are displayed may not harmless. For example, the us president used wrong datas on social media to get more in voting. Some phone calls will make you disturb because of the number you gave into website. Almost companies sold their information just for a little profit but not thinking about the disadvantage . Bad people can use those information for approaching individual to trick or reave our assets. that why we cannot give our private datas indiscriminately.
In conclusion, the fact that information storaged by major internet companies or organisasions are more unsafe than before. The government should regulate the leak of data for social users.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 24, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'argued'.
Suggestion: argued
...han advantages. On the one hand, it is argue that those internet companies such as f...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 170, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to have' or 'have'.
Suggestion: to have; have
...er the world. First thing is to help us having better services. For an illustation, th...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 289, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...suitably with our hobbies or behaviors. we always see a title of restaurant or mus...
^^
Line 2, column 447, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Google
...reate helpfully services for customers. google map is the good example for this. it sa...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 488, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...oogle map is the good example for this. it saved our location to show the best way...
^^
Line 3, column 19, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nient and save time. On the other hand, the information might be revealed in our...
^^
Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... but not thinking about the disadvantage . Bad people can use those information fo...
^^
Line 3, column 410, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'those informations'?
Suggestion: this information; those informations
...t the disadvantage . Bad people can use those information for approaching individual to trick or ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 485, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...ndividual to trick or reave our assets. that why we cannot give our private datas in...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 41.998997996 69% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1279.0 1615.20841683 79% => OK
No of words: 255.0 315.596192385 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01568627451 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.99608801488 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83174567526 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 176.041082164 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.639215686275 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 413.1 506.74238477 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.2975951904 64% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.6544524197 49.4020404114 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 67.3157894737 106.682146367 63% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.4210526316 20.7667163134 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.89473684211 7.06120827912 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182112329058 0.244688304435 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0496047191074 0.084324248473 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0514787287601 0.0667982634062 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114638686053 0.151304729494 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0228265388296 0.056905535591 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 13.0946893788 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 50.2224549098 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.24 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 78.4519038076 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.1190380762 71% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.