In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Children in some countries are taught that if they put enough effort, they will make their dreams come true. This essay will highlight some benefits as well as drawbacks when children get this note.
On the one hand, this message would help to create a good habit in the kids which is always strive as much as they can. In other words, whenever they are young or grown-up, they may try hard to achieve their goals in both study and work. For example, a staff who was often studious to get high scores at school tends to make more efforts in her workplace to be advanced. Moreover, this way of teaching the children could motivate them to not give up easily even when they face difficulties. Take Vietnamese students as an example, some of them were born with poorer conditions such as starvation, poverty or diseases. However, they are taught by their family that attitudes determine altitudes, therefore they do not abandon and strive to get scholarships. Clearly, there are several advantages that are offered by the message mentioned.
On the other hand, this way of teaching could put pressure on the children. To be specific, they do not want to be considered as a lazy or weak person by parents, teachers or friends, so they work extremely hard, regardless of their health. In Vietnam, there is a large number of pupils suffering from stress, anxiety or depression because of grades and examinations. Another disadvantage is that the kids can have an inclination to blame themselves if they unsuccessfully reach their objective. Particularly, they may believe that they can not do it because they did not make enough efforts or they are inferior to others. As a result, it could lead to other problems relating to the emotional health of the children.
In conclusion, the message given provides some benefits regarding a good habit created in kids and a motivation to give them willpower. However, it also has several demerits related to stress and self-blaming. People should take both sides into consideration so that they can encourage their children in a proper way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 94, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'strived', 'striven'.
Suggestion: strived; striven
... good habit in the kids which is always strive as much as they can. In other words, wh...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...s of their health. In Vietnam, there is a large number of pupils suffering from stress, anxiety o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 303, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... that they can encourage their children in a proper way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urage their children in a proper way.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, as a result, as well as, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1741.0 1615.20841683 108% => OK
No of words: 353.0 315.596192385 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93201133144 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71733266813 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552407932011 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 531.9 506.74238477 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 23.5621060074 49.4020404114 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 96.7222222222 106.682146367 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6111111111 20.7667163134 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.94444444444 7.06120827912 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.9879759519 226% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.413149916556 0.244688304435 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118030321503 0.084324248473 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0744811442208 0.0667982634062 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254659557975 0.151304729494 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0550203293463 0.056905535591 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 50.2224549098 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.58950901804 94% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 78.4519038076 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.