Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some say that because many people are living much longer,the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, the age at which people end paid work normally from 55 to 62 in many nations. The reason is in the past, a few people would live beyond 80 years, hence, they only could enjoy no more than about 20 years of retirement. However, the situation has changed nowadays when the figure is much higher - 30 or even 40 years. This is often cited as a main factor for expecting people to work to a later age.
Some people claim that it is extremely costly to support people for so long in retirement.Pensions are paid for partly by citizens in their working lives, but today with the increasing number of longevity, they are just insufficient due to the fact that they are only designed for the previous shorter average life expectancy. Moreover, it is argued, the burden falls on younger people who end up working harder to pay for the enjoyment and relaxation of the old in their extended retirement. This, they say, is essentially unfair.
Although I acknowledge the validity of this notion,I firmly believe that it is necessary to retain current required retirement age. To begin with, when older people retire later they deprive the young of the opportunity to work and develop professionally. Furthermore,I feel that people are not merely valuable members of society when they are earning money.They still can contribute a great deal through sharing in family responsibilities as child care or doing voluntary work in the wider community after retiring,I think, therefore, we should maintain existing retirement age as well as creating different jobs for older people to make them feel that they are still useful in both families and society as a whole.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Essays by user kenzietran :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 122, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...many nations. The reason is in the past, a few people would live beyond 80 years,...
^^
Line 1, column 181, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d live beyond 80 years, hence, they only could enjoy no more than about 20 years ...
^^
Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Pensions
...upport people for so long in retirement.Pensions are paid for partly by citizens in thei...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 51, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
... acknowledge the validity of this notion,I firmly believe that it is necessary to ...
^^
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
... and develop professionally. Furthermore,I feel that people are not merely valuabl...
^^
Line 3, column 358, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
... of society when they are earning money.They still can contribute a great deal throu...
^^^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
...rk in the wider community after retiring,I think, therefore, we should maintain ex...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, hence, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, i feel, i think, in fact, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1384.0 1615.20841683 86% => OK
No of words: 283.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89045936396 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78474604829 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 176.041082164 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.639575971731 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 435.6 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.2975951904 138% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 122.183632292 49.4020404114 247% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 138.4 106.682146367 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3 20.7667163134 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.7 7.06120827912 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.38176352705 68% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247513471924 0.244688304435 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0987668241528 0.084324248473 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607753831793 0.0667982634062 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165209294226 0.151304729494 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.047655597998 0.056905535591 84% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 50.2224549098 103% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.4159519038 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.15 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 78.4519038076 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.1190380762 130% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.