Multicultural societies in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country What extent agree or degree

Essay topics:

Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. What extent agree or degree?

It is often argued that in the majority of cosmopolitan societies, individuals from different communities prefer to live together which brings more merits to the society than its demerits. This essay partially agrees with this trend and reasons form the same are scrutinized below with examples.
To begin with, the primary positive side of the notion is people can enjoy and get knowledge from a diversity of cultures. Indeed each culture has its own significance, traditional values, and unique cultural festivals which are profoundly attached to a plethora of ancient legacies. Also, they can neither only assist each other to celebrate their functions but also get a chance to increase brotherhood between them. Consequently, they can improve their background with the taste of numerous holistic books. For example, India is one of the diverse democratic countries where persons from distinct backgrounds live altogether and celebrate all festivals together irrespective of their religion.
On the other hand, a clan of masses who have a holistic nature finds always an obligation to follow other religion’s spirituality. This is because they believe that by strictly adhering to only one commodity they are honoring their lord and their ethics. For instance, in many Asian islands, local people do not allow any person from other religions in their area as they have a fear of extinct of virtues.
In conclusion, although living simultaneously have a few negative influences, its pros cannot be neglected. I firmly believe that mentors from all communities should come ahead and explain other minors about the importance of humanity.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 123, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...knowledge from a diversity of cultures. Indeed each culture has its own significance, ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, so, for example, for instance, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 24.0651302605 96% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1388.0 1615.20841683 86% => OK
No of words: 258.0 315.596192385 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37984496124 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00778971557 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86830085777 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.658914728682 0.561755894193 117% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.3328598447 49.4020404114 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 115.666666667 106.682146367 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5 20.7667163134 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.91666666667 7.06120827912 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.082416726214 0.244688304435 34% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0286745689764 0.084324248473 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525198547799 0.0667982634062 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.053638016024 0.151304729494 35% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649115382384 0.056905535591 114% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 13.0946893788 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.82 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 78.4519038076 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.