The entertainment and activities should differ from job activities.
Planning for the times people not working at their jobs has one the most crucial impact on everyone’s life. However, there is still much dispute about whether this time should be spent on activities differing from the people’s occupations or should be similar to them. In this regard, some people maintain the view that having similar jobs and entertainment activities would improve people’s efficiency. On The other hand, others, including me, hold the view that people will benefit from fun activities differentiating from their jobs. I will delve into it in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, there should be compelling factors that people should choose different activities out their job environment. To be more specific, scholars from different areas of the studies should agree upon the factor. This pivotal factor is creativity, benefiting both employees and their managers in their job places. To show how effective this factor is, one should examine this fact. The best way to do so is to trust the research tests. One of the detailed experiments was conducted by a well-known psychology institute in Iran. In the research, two groups of workers were invited. One group was asked to have activities like the ones they had in their jobs. The other group, however, had different entertainment after their jobs ended. The results of the test were impressive. The latter group showed great creativity in their main jobs after they had experienced different activities with they had to do in their jobs. As a result, had they not done other activities when they were not at their job environments, creativity would not have been revealed by the group.
Furthermore, during diverse activities, people peruse in their everyday life, another progressive factor is hidden, however, is so productive. The factor would benefit people’s social abilities. What’s more, people would feel better experiences out of the job environment. They find more friends, which would be profitable when people are in tough situations. Take my experience. I do go to the gym six days of a week. This is not because I can improve my muscle activities, but for the strong reason, finding and having fun with other people from different jobs. Also, one of them, when I was in a serious problem, lend money to me. Nevertheless, the more I spent time with them, The more I feel free from stress which contribute to my social life greatly.
To sum up, Not only do people improve their creativities with the different entertainment they follow after their jobs, they also would boost social capabilities contributing to their everyday life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 784, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he results of the test were impressive. The latter group showed great creativity in...
^^^
Line 4, column 200, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es contributing to their everyday life.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, nevertheless, so, still, well, i feel, as a result, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2202.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12093023256 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7934714897 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 663.3 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.8634556719 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.5555555556 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9259259259 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301999376663 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0811013627743 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0966128746764 0.0737576698707 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190712370233 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131539310753 0.0645574589148 204% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.