A high school that normally gives students about two months of time off from school during the summer is introducing a new educational requirement for students in eleventh grade (ages 16-17) over the summer, students have the following two options to fulfill the new requirement.
– They can attend classes each day for several weeks to complete a university level course on a subject that they are considering selecting as their major field of study at university.
– They can spend several weeks traveling to museums and historic places in their area with a group of students guided by a teacher and then write a paper of their experience.
Which one of these options do you think would be most beneficial for students and why?
In my opinion, attending university-level classes that students are considering as their major field of study at university would be a better idea because this course helps them to decrease the risk of making mistake in choosing their future major. Moreover, they will learn about some basic subjects that would help them to start university with power. I will illustrate my reasons in the next paragraphs.
First, this course helps students to decide on their future field of study with less risk. For sure, the major field of study can affect all aspects of their future life. Thereby, deciding on the major field of study is the main concern of all high school students and their parents. On the other hand, although going to museums and historical sites would be such fun and also it will teach students a lot of things about historical events, it can be scheduled for another time. For example, when I was a high school student, in the last summer before university our school did a similar plan for students. Some students chose to attend the course and others include me chose to visit some top universities in our country. Although it was totally fun and we got familiar with universities, it doesn’t help us in decision making about our major field of study. Indeed, most of us were confused about whether we made the right decision or not. On the contrary, other students who chose to attend the course, hadn’t any problem because the course had helped them to know their major better.
Second, a course that is at a university-level can help students to prepare for the university and the main things they are going to learn. Indeed, such a course that is related to their major field of study leads them to learn some basic information in which other students might not learn before. Thereby, it helps them to start university more powerful rather than other students. For instance, when I started university, I remember that although some information that teachers lectured about was so complicated, some students had no problem with that and participated in discussions actively. After a while, I realized that most of them had attended an elementary course before university that helped them to learn some basic things before coming to university.
Based on the aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that attending a course that is related to the major field of study that you consider to pick would be more helpful for students.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 135, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'consider picking'.
Suggestion: consider picking
...ed to the major field of study that you consider to pick would be more helpful for students.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, moreover, second, so, while, as to, for example, for instance, in my opinion, on the contrary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2050.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 417.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91606714628 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64591323903 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.441247002398 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 638.1 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.657040996 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.888888889 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1666666667 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.16666666667 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138436816875 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561838722718 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0598506926399 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0788752333947 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0659514405194 0.0645574589148 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.