If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
During my life, I have attended many schools. In this essay, I will be focused on the last high school I attended, called Saint John’s School, located in San Pedro de la Paz, Chile. If I could change something about it, I would add a soccer field of natural grass and more green areas to the schoolyard.
I believe that any school, where many children and teenagers go to learn, needs spaces with nature: trees, green grass, and plants. The school that I attended was very good in general. It provided high-quality education, at least, for Chilean standards because their students always had good results in academic examinations made by public institutions of the Chilean government. The school’s infrastructure was good too. However, I perceived a lack of space for green areas. It had just a few square meters of green grass in two tiny yards. It was ironic because Saint John’s School’s slogan was "Tradition, Nature, Excellence," but there was almost no nature in it. I would have liked to have beautiful gardens with playgrounds to enjoy my breaks playing, seeing plants, and lying on the grass.
Research has demonstrated that schools with more green areas are more pleasant for students since they perceive these places as less stressful than those lacking plants. To be specific, if I added gardens with plants and flowers, I am sure that students would be cheerful due to the change since they could enjoy more their breaks by taking pictures in those places, or would enjoy the sight better.
Furthermore, we did not have a football pitch made of green grass. There were three fields to play soccer, volleyball, basketball, or to practice other sports. Nevertheless, none of them was like a real soccer field. Of course, this was awful for students who craved for playing football on a real field. Personally speaking, I do not like playing this sport; notwithstanding, I had to practice it because it was a requirement of the physical education subject. I would have liked better to play on grass rather than on a concrete football pitch because in the case that I had stumbled, it would not have been so painful.
In summary, the change I would make to my high school it would be to add more green areas, including a soccer pitch of natural grass for students to be more comfortable and could enjoy their breaks with a nicer view.
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| 2019-11-09 | Sinor | 73 | view |
| 2019-08-26 | zhrnrz-1992 | 85 | view |
| 2019-07-25 | dasepular | 76 | view |
| 2017-09-22 | mahdyarghaeminia | 73 | view |
| 2017-08-08 | unknown_User | 76 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 648, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
... was 'Tradition, Nature, Excellence,' but there was almost no nature in it. ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, nevertheless, so, as to, at least, in general, in summary, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1983.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8962962963 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80348597423 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520987654321 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.0092097823 48.9658058833 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.15 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.25 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.096251841976 0.236089414692 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0292678309278 0.076458572812 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0390571876008 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0732905684599 0.150856017488 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0460846213 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.