If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

There are many ways the schools try to engage the students in their curriculum and make their learning process more interesting for them. The more students find the classes and courses interesting the more they tend to study. If I could choose what to change in the school I attended, I would change the classrooms to high-tech classes because of the merits of technology which helps the learning process of the students. The technology could impact the course materials, help the students to catch up and improve health and have major implications and benefits on children's health and environment.

We are living in an era of technology which has enhanced our everyday life in many ways. For instance, multimedia learning is one of the major benefits of technology. According to researches, there are many ways to learn besides memorizing by repeating the data. For instance, using visual memory when studying is a smart way to encode the lessons in memory easier and sooner. Therefore, audio and visual equipment could help the students to interact more with the instructor and provide more materials for the course. I remember at high school our classes were equipped with an LCD that the teachers used for showing us movies and prepared slides with diagrams, shapes, and figures. Hence, I still can remember some of those diagrams and the subjects that were taught. If we did not have the LCDs at school I would not be able to memorize the lessons that easily and still recall them.

Besides, there are days in every students' life which they cannot attend the class due to their sickness or any personal issue that they may face. Besides, some students are not good at not-taking, some of them distract easily, and some may need to review the class by listening to or watching it again before the exam days. An equipped class with recording technology would be a plus point for these students. I remember back at high school there were many days in winter that I was not able to attend the classes because of my sicknesses in cold seasons. Although I used to ask for other student's notes, but every student takes notes personally and could understand his or her notes better than other students. This had a major influence on my grades and my confidence. If the teachers had recorded the classes I would catch up sooner to other students.

Last but not least, the common ground in high-tech classes is their advantage in health and the environment. Students have to carry a lot of books and notebooks with themselves every day. According to medical studies, a student carrying heavy backpacks influences their health and physical condition inevitably. Besides, every year an enormous amount of trees are cut for printing paper books. Classes that are equipped with computers are a reasonable solution to this issue. The students could have their books on the computer and they can take notes with them as well.

To sum up, a rise in course materials, recording classes for the students and being a solution for environment and health conditions are three major advantages among many others. I believe equipping classes with technology is an important change that must be made in schools.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 34, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...hem. Besides, there are days in every students life which they cannot attend the class...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... any personal issue that they may face. Besides, some students are not good at not-taki...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 772, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...fluence on my grades and my confidence. If the teachers had recorded the classes I...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, hence, if, may, so, still, therefore, well, for instance, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2661.0 1977.66487455 135% => OK
No of words: 542.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90959409594 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82502781895 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5572568056 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459409594096 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 813.6 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.9130837632 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.5555555556 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0740740741 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.45110844103 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0906168190971 0.236089414692 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0268616118601 0.076458572812 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424734044795 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0579978889899 0.150856017488 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418081751343 0.0645574589148 65% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.