some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In my opinion, I prefer to live with my families for a longer time than be independent of them as soon as possible. There are a couple of reasons.
First, since sooner or later we will all be independent one day, moving out the house we used to live in with our parents, our brothers and sisters, why not choose to stay longer with them? Parents will get old, brothers and sisters will move out due to jobs or marriages. The family will only be united again only on holidays. The times the families lived together became the most precious moments. Why not make these precious moments longer?
Second, by staying longer with the family, we can learn the importance, the value of the family and the roles of each members of the family. By learning theses important things, we can have a better understanding of how to get along with our future families members, i.e., our future husbands, wives, and our children.
Although others may argue that one can't learn independence by living with their parents, thus one should be separated with their parents as soon as possible. However I strongly doubt this kind of argument, since independence has nothing to do with living with one's parents or not, it concerns more with one's abilities to earn one's living, in other words, one's ability to be financially independent. One can still live with one's parents and not taking any money from them, be independent of them.
Above all, since living with one's family for a longer time doesn’t mean that one cannot be independent, and that living with one's family for a longer time can teach one the value of family, also make the precious moments in one's life last longer, I certainly prefer to live with my families for a longer time than be independent of them as soon as possible.
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for a longer time than be independent
for a longer time than being independent
moving out the house we used to live in with our parents, our brothers and sisters, why not choose to stay longer with them?
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Second, by staying longer with the family, we can learn the importance, the value of the family and the roles of each members of the family.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and members
Sentence: By learning theses important things, we can have a better understanding of how to get along with our future families members, i.e., our future husbands, wives, and our children.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to families and members
Sentence: I certainly prefer to live with my families for a longer time than be independent of them as soon as possible.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to than and be
flaws:
No. of Words: 315 while No. of Different Words: 146
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1421 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.511 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.329 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.144 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5