TPO 52 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Societies can continue their lives by rules which determine threeshold of people's actions. Some people believe that today, societies' rules that young people should follow are too strict; others assume othewise; stating that societies' rules were more strict in the past. Personally speaking, I support the latter because of two reasons, which I explains in the following pragraphs.
First of all, people are more litterate than the past which make them modest about rules. In the past, people thought that some rules are hollies and sended by gods, as a result they must obeyed to avoide sines. While, today some rules discarded because of their fasle origin, which has aproved by science. Most of literate of people agree with this evidence and are not hard on young people. For example, in the past my family were obliged to be on fast for a month, which is not eating foods and drinks in most of a day. But nowadyas, the science has proved that fast can lead to some stomachache and cancers. As a result, my parents are not as strict about this rule as their parnt were. In sum, the science helped literate people to be modest toward young people about rules.
Second, people were been punished hard in the past by not obeying rules. People used this punishment to eleminate some of their oponent, tribes, and minorities to increase their profits. As a result people were strict toward their youths about rules to not make mistake which can bring them numerous troubles. For example, a while ago I watched a movie called twelve years slavory, which was about slavory problems. In this movie, I saw that master hardly hitted black people who made mistakes. As a result, parents tryed to be so hard on their children to be perfect and obedience, which in turn can decrease youths' punishment. So, people were punished hard for making mistakes.
In conclusion, I think people we
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- Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past 60
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- TPO 15 Integrated Writing Task 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 345, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'explain'
Suggestion: explain
... latter because of two reasons, which I explains in the following pragraphs. First of a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...has aproved by science. Most of literate of people agree with this evidence and a...
^^
Line 2, column 781, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...modest toward young people about rules. Second, people were been punished hard i...
^^^
Line 3, column 188, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d minorities to increase their profits. As a result people were strict toward thei...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, second, so, while, for example, i think, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1557.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 323.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82043343653 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28829224075 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.513931888545 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 476.1 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.4124558459 48.9658058833 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.9473684211 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.89473684211 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193270109501 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669520334175 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0682777695437 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135364154129 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0949938454204 0.0645574589148 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.