Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
In the modern days the whole world is in flux. Nothing is like what it used to be before because technology has captured our lives. Although, human’s nature and needs are the same, new ways have been developed to satisfy them, such as novel communication tools which include telephones and email. No one can deny the fact that communication with other people is an essence of both individual and social life. Of course, these innovations have come to make our life better but they have some shortcomings too that can cause several problems in daily life. My reasons for this point will be explain in subsequent paragraphs
To start with, the spirit of every effective communication is adequate emotion and appropriate body language which in telephone or email contacts are spontaneously eliminated. When these two critical aspects of communications are missing the remainder will be solid message that even computers can generate and send them. For example, consider the situation when a foreign partner is going to visit our country and our company for the first time. I can assure you that nothing compare to a warm welcoming visit in airport might be constructive for future business relationships. Some might say that a phone call can be easier and faster way but I reckon that people will be much more influenced by face to face communication. I remember a situation like this in my own company, we decided to pick up our guests from airport and bring them to their hotel personally. Next day when we met them in the appointment it was like that we knew each other for a long time so we were able to manage the meeting much better that was expected before. In one word, direct communications aim at people’s emotion and rise the quality of the relationships.
Furthermore, indirect communications via phone or email always tempt us to send a message to one or more than one group of people at the same time, which means there will be no personal aspect in this communication, besides the sender tries to make the memo as general as it is possible. In this kind of situation the chance of miss understanding and even worst than that the chance of ignoring the message are so high. Because we are humans and naturally we like to be the center of attention and when we realize that there is no difference between us and the other people, the predictable reaction would be paying no attention. It could be concluded that this is one of the main reasons for marketing experts to severely suggest about personalizing of the message before sending them to clients.
Considering all above together, changes happen every day in any aspects of life and we cannot cease them. Though in some way, like new communication devices, their damages weight to their benefits. It would be a better idea if we try to find a way to add emotion part to our communications in order to make them more successful.
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- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion 65
new ways have been developed to satisfy them
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
the spirit of every effective communication is adequate emotion
the spirit of every effective communication is an adequate emotion
the spirit of every effective communication is adequate emotion and appropriate body language which in telephone or email contacts are spontaneously eliminated.
the spirit of every effective communication is an adequate emotion and appropriate body language while by telephone or email contacts are spontaneously eliminated. //check books how to use 'which'
nothing compare to a warm welcoming visit in airport might be constructive
nothing compared to a warm welcoming visit in airport might be constructive
a phone call can be easier and faster way
a phone call can be an easier and faster way
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
The examples is duplicated to your argument in the second paragraph:
'I remember a situation like this in my own company, we decided to pick up our guests from airport and bring them to their hotel personally. Next day when we met them in the appointment it was like that we knew each other for a long time so we were able to manage the meeting much better that was expected before. In one word, direct communications aim at people’s emotion and rise the quality of the relationships.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 503 350
No. of Characters: 2352 1500
No. of Different Words: 261 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.736 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.721 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.261 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5