Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
It is an incontrovertible fact that game and entertainment is of great importance for the developing of children's abilities. However, whether any kinds of game is suitable for children or not is questionable. Although some people think that computer games are an excellent entertainment for children, I, personally, do believe that old-kind amusement is more beneficial than "new-computer-based-games" for two reasons which are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, there is no physical activity in any kinds of computer games. Needless to say, lack of movement for children's health who are in the sensitive years of growth is really harmful. Recently, one study which was done by Yale University showed individuals who had less physical activity during their childhood are more prone to heart diseases than their peers. Old-kind of entertainment such as playing football with friends, however, not only can decrease the possibility of diseases among children but also it can teach them social skills. On the other hand, it is clear that having social skills to what extent can play a significant role as a child' future life is concerned. If a person does not learn these crucial skills during childhood, how can be a useful person in the society in the future? Therefore, with such a beneficial results, playing with friends has much more positive aspects than games based on technology do.
Additionally, adolescence is a sensitive period of any individuals' lives, which means that they can be affected by anything. Technology-based games are said to promote violence, depression, aggression, and "people-phobia" among persons, and children are not an exception. With this in mind, it is evident that as a result of such games harsh and inappropriate behavior is formed among children, one of which is a tendency to suicide. Indeed, there is an indefinite number of disadvantages in such games yet to be revealed. On the other hand, playing with toys not only can increase the creativity of a child, but also in terms of psychology have some advantages for them. For instance, when a child is allowed to play with a toy, by destroying and constructing, their curiosity can be satisfied without any peril for him or her. Consequently, playing a video game, or games which encourage an individual to be loneliness and isolation are detrimental for any spectrum of age.
In the light of these catastrophic consequences, I strictly believe that if a child communicates with other peers and plays with them, as well as with toys, it will have beneficial results for them. Computer, video games, and smartphones are of detrimental aspects of technology that can destroy a person's future life.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-20 | farzaddanaei | 73 | view |
| 2020-01-01 | prsghsm | 81 | view |
| 2019-11-02 | hipoo_28 | 90 | view |
| 2019-10-14 | Ramkal | 76 | view |
| 2019-09-17 | samaneh.armn.71 | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 846, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'result'?
Suggestion: result
...ture? Therefore, with such a beneficial results, playing with friends has much more pos...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a person' or simply 'persons'?
Suggestion: a person; persons
... aspects of technology that can destroy a persons future life.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, really, so, therefore, well, for instance, kind of, such as, as a result, as well as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 15.1003584229 192% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2287.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 438.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22146118721 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.48423444993 2.67179642975 130% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520547945205 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 718.2 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.483100721 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.368421053 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0526315789 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.21052631579 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307489129916 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102105758612 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.063657822273 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198712031744 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418199328573 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.