The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this report, the author recommend the daily use of Ichthaid to prevent colds since people in nearby East Meria consumes large quantities of fish. Also, when people catch fewer colds, the absences from school and word will decrease. Convincing as the recommendation may sound, additional evidence is need to evaluate whether Ichthaid can play such an importance role in lowering absenteeism and preventing colds.
To begin with, while fish consumption is very high in nearby East Meria, no evidence serves to rule out the possibility that fish are usually sold to other areas by local people. We need more evidence concerning the concrete consumption of those fish. If it turns out that most of the fish are transported to other markets in other areas rather than be eaten by local people, then the argument is weakened; if all the fish are eaten by local people, then the argument is strengthened. Besides, even if the local people do have a lot of fish for food, additional evidence gains great importance to determine whether the frequency of visiting the doctor equals the frequency of catching a cold. If a person has caught a cold but he or she is unwilling to see the doctor, then it is not safe to say fish consumption can preclude the cold. If new evidence shows that people will go to the doctor as soon as they catch a cold, then the argument is strengthened.
Second, specific evidence is critically needed to show the exact reasons why people are absent from schools and work. Despite the fact that catching a cold could be a reason, it is hasty to say it is the only reason for absences. If additional evidence emerges suggesting that people are also absent when they are willing to take a rest without any illness or they have to do other things, such as attending a concert or other entertainments, then the argument is weakened. If it turns out that only when people catch a cold do they ask for absence, then we can safely say that preventing colds can absolutely reduce absences.
Finally, granted that fish can exert positive effects in preventing the cold and the reason , we still need evidence to verify whether Ichthaid can have the same effects as fish. It remains doubtful whether other parts of the fish indeed precludes colds. If it is the fish bones or the fish skins that have the critical effects in preventing colds, then we cannot claim the daily use of Ichthaid is effective as suggested. If new evidence from the lab shows that it is the Ichthaid that has positive influence other that other parts of the fish, then the recommendation is strengthened.
To sum up, although the author suggests that fish consumption can prevent cold and decrease absences from schools and word, we still need additional evidence to determine the real consumption and the exact reasons for absences. Also, whether the daily use of Ichthaid can exert the same effects as fish still remains questionable. Only when additional evidence is shown can we safely maintain that the recommendation can absolutely prevent colds and reduce absenteeism.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 524 350
No. of Characters: 2486 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.784 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 92, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ts in preventing the cold and the reason , we still need evidence to verify whethe...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, if, may, second, so, still, then, while, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2549.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 524.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86450381679 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66517917697 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.398854961832 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 784.8 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6574264335 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.45 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.15 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0333461037402 0.218282227539 15% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0143977229854 0.0743258471296 19% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0233363589314 0.0701772020484 33% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0284539340519 0.128457276422 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329225065974 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.52 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.