parents should not give their children money to encourage them to study
Nowadays,education has a vital rol in anybody's life. Cosequently, all parents try to make intrest for their children to be more eligible in their lessons by several ways. personally, although, I believe that appluasing children is very efficient, I strongly feel giving them money because of their markes is a huge mistake. I feel this way because of two reasones, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, I believe that by giving money as a prize we learn our children to study in exchange of money, so what happen if they do not recieve the money? I guess they will loose their passion to their lessons because they do not recieve what they were trying for. I believe that parents should consider some thing more valuable to appluase their children. Otherwise, they have to always pay more and more to their childrent without actually intrest them to study. my own experience demonstrates this concept very well, when I was 15, my sister was 4 years old. she did not go to school, but my parent had learned her to do any nice job in exchange of a candy. as a result, after a while she never do any thing if she did not get a candy. even when she wanted to brush her teeth we shoud give a candy to her. Fortunately, my parents change their behavior quickly and after a while she had to changes his behavior too.
Second, I strongly believe that children should know, even in young ages, that their education and its consequenses is for their future not any one else. so if parents give them money, children will learn to take them bribes for studying. And their purpose will be the money not their education. In addition, ans soon as they will find a job that provide the amount of money that they wanted from their parents, they may leave the school. Consequently, I feel that parents should encourage their children by more meaningfull things, for example they can tell them if they get the reasonable score they can go to any sports classes that they want. By this kind of appluasing children can improve their other ability, pluse, it is so beneficial for their physical and mental improvement.
to sum up, I strongly believe that giving money to the children is a big mistake. because of two reasons, first of all, parrents make them conditionally to study. And second, it does not improve other children abbility.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , education
Nowadays,education has a vital rol in anybodys life. Coseq...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Personally
...gible in their lessons by several ways. personally, although, I believe that appluasing c...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 183, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eir lessons by several ways. personally, although, I believe that appluasing chil...
^^
Line 3, column 177, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...ot recieve the money? I guess they will loose their passion to their lessons because ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 308, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'something'?
Suggestion: something
... I believe that parents should consider some thing more valuable to appluase their childre...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ave to always pay more and more to their childrent without actually intrest them ...
^^
Line 3, column 470, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...without actually intrest them to study. my own experience demonstrates this concep...
^^
Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...en I was 15, my sister was 4 years old. she did not go to school, but my parent had...
^^^
Line 3, column 666, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: As
...do any nice job in exchange of a candy. as a result, after a while she never do an...
^^
Line 3, column 703, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...y. as a result, after a while she never do any thing if she did not get a candy. e...
^^
Line 3, column 706, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'anything'?
Suggestion: anything
...as a result, after a while she never do any thing if she did not get a candy. even when s...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 744, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...o any thing if she did not get a candy. even when she wanted to brush her teeth we s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 744, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “even when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...o any thing if she did not get a candy. even when she wanted to brush her teeth we shoud ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 141, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'anyone'?
Suggestion: anyone
...ts consequenses is for their future not any one else. so if parents give them money, ch...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 155, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...s is for their future not any one else. so if parents give them money, children wi...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...heir physical and mental improvement. to sum up, I strongly believe that giving ...
^^
Line 7, column 83, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...money to the children is a big mistake. because of two reasons, first of all, parrents ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, first, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, i feel, i guess, in addition, kind of, as a result, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 43.0788530466 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1930.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 416.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63942307692 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54867441289 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.473557692308 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 594.0 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.3813240139 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.7272727273 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9090909091 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.18181818182 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.433818564595 0.236089414692 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.126297751758 0.076458572812 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100362963552 0.0737576698707 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.270713501042 0.150856017488 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0657343339525 0.0645574589148 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.63 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.03 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.