A recent survey on 250 adults show that people who want to increase well being should decrease the amount of time they spend online
While it may be true that there is a connection between the number of hours spent online and the likelihood of depression, this author's argument fails to make a convincing case that people who want to increase their well-being should decrease the amount of time they spend online.
Citing the survey on 250 adults as the basis for the conclusion is a bit specious. The author did not explain the scope of the survey. For example, if the survey was conducted on people who already have depression, then the result will be presumptuously convey an implied conclusion as stated. If the current of the individuals during the time of the survey was explicitly stated and there was a mix between those who were already living in satisfaction and others, then the result would have been credible. However, a case study on 250 people does not give a true data representation of the entire human population which counts into billions.
In addition, the author fails to explain the content of the questions within the survey. For example, if questions like "Did you feel depressed after spending 30 minutes on social media" and "30 minutes is enough time for depression to kick in after participating in online social media activities. Do you agree?" Then the answers would have been skewed to yield the results presented. This hence makes the survey results invalid.
Furthermore, the author fails to create a strong relationship between the feelings of people before they went online. Had the author mentioned proofs to show that everyone who logged in online being happy, logged out being morose, then the argument would have been valid. Since this strong connection cannot be proven, then the claims are without warrant. For example, someone whose lost money in business may likely feel withdrawn and can resort to social media for comfort. Possibly, if one fails to find this comfort, he may not have necessarily found further reasons to feel depressed online. A post-online activity survey on such a person will read positive to depression even though the source wasn't stated.
Social media activities can be a source of happiness, refreshment, information, business growth and as well depression. Depending on it;s application, the results of it's usage will vary from person to person. Hence, it will be invalid for the author to conclude that abstinence from online activities is the key to improved standard of living.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1971 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.891 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.564 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.219 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 701, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...ve to depression even though the source wasnt stated. Social media activities ca...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, then, well, while, for example, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2057.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12967581047 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70496213819 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521197007481 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7315883039 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.263157895 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1052631579 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47368421053 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285773499816 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0760539872143 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0863578625696 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167213196723 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122910165741 0.0628817314937 195% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.