People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing thing they like to do- rather than doing things they should do.
Controversy exist over whether people should allocate most of their time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do. In my perspective, there are copious advantages for people who spend their time on personal enjoyment. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.
The first aspect worth mentioning is that doing personal enjoyment helps people to release their tension and enhace their health. Nowadays, plenty number of people many responsibilities and financial problems which make their life hectic and because of that their mind are bussy all the time with thinking about their issues. Therefore, they are under a lot of pressure and tension. Enganing in a fun activities aid people to release their tension and for couple of hours to not think about their problems. Moreover, these problems have a negetive effect on health of human in the societies. By doing things, every person enjoy it help them to feel better. For instance, when a person who has financial problems, do an activitiy that he enjoy, he do not think about his problem and it improver his state.
The further subtle reason is that people can progress better on their life by doing enjoyment that suits them. Many people are thrive for progressing in their life but do not have enough energy to try. Spending on enjoyment work helps people to gain more energy and become ready for their tasks in their life. For example, students in universities having many problem in dormitory and they can not focus their mind on their study materials. By attending in fun activities, they will emit their negatvie thought which help them to become ready for their study. Therefore, this kind of activities help students to improver their kwnoledge to have a better future.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, it is extremely beneficals for people to engage in things they enjoy it since not only free people from life tension but also they can progress in their life.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-17 | M. MEHRABI KERMANI | 60 | view |
| 2023-04-14 | sonyeoso | 85 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Dat_Nguyen | 71 | view |
| 2023-01-14 | Hossein2000 | 85 | view |
| 2022-11-17 | rpinisetti8 | 70 | view |
- TOEFL Sample essay integrated essay from TPO5 3
- In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today 73
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing thing they like to do rather than doing things they should do 66
- It is more important to keep your old friend than it is to make new friends 70
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing thing they like to do rather than doing things they should do 61
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 13, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'exists'.
Suggestion: exists
Controversy exist over whether people should allocate mos...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 631, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helps'?
Suggestion: helps
... By doing things, every person enjoy it help them to feel better. For instance, when...
^^^^
Line 2, column 747, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...lems, do an activitiy that he enjoy, he do not think about his problem and it impr...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, therefore, for example, for instance, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1677.0 1977.66487455 85% => OK
No of words: 336.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99107142857 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54059828945 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508928571429 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.1125530932 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.6470588235 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7647058824 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76470588235 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.293475499683 0.236089414692 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118438858433 0.076458572812 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134118334941 0.0737576698707 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230351225412 0.150856017488 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.120179540092 0.0645574589148 186% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.