Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
While some people believe that children, and thus society, behavior is more affected by the violence in the media, other are convinced that parents and children' peers are the main source of inspiration for their education. Even if the former view is right, with a good implementation of the latter it could be avoided.
First, nowadays, violence is spreading even more among the media and it is becoming an increasing problem to manage this situation in order to avoid children from watching it. In fact, the main problem among the youngest are the videogames. As a matter of fact, many of them are violence ones, and the most widespread are about war. They could be a terrible danger for children who start from the earlier ages to keep a gun, even if virtual, in their hands with the objective to kill as many people as possible. For this reason, the use of videogames can bring them to a future use of violence not only virtually, but also in he real life.
However, from an overall perspective, everything depends on the education provided to children from their parents. For instance, they have the power and the duty to limit their vision of media showing violence such a movies about war or, as I said before, violent videogames. Moreover, they are the main source of inspiration of their offspring so the must provide them right and genuine model of life. As matter of fact, movies and videogames in general can be substituted, especially during the first ten years of their children, with reading a book all together and playing family games outside from their home. In this way, children will tend much more to prefer real life a the virtual one and the violence provided by the latter would be completely avoided.
On the other side of the argument, children spend a huge amount of time with their pairs. For this reason, it is important not only to give to your baby the right behavioral example but also it is fundamental to check the environment in which they are growing. For parents it is always difficult to have a total control on that, so teachers have to do that. Because of this, a strong educational system able to control the education of all the children involved is sometime even more important than parents influence.
In conclusion, even if media are always blamed to create increasing violence in the society , their spread can be controlled implementing a strong control and education system both from parents' side and from teachers' one. Family education and peers' one will allow children to grow with the right values, that will be kept for th
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 216, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a movie' or simply 'movies'?
Suggestion: a movie; movies
...r vision of media showing violence such a movies about war or, as I said before, violent...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 678, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: a; the
...will tend much more to prefer real life a the virtual one and the violence provided b...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 92, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...reate increasing violence in the society , their spread can be controlled implemen...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, thus, while, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, in general, as a matter of fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2140.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 447.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78747203579 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5507875372 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474272930649 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.9036311738 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.888888889 118.986275619 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8333333333 23.4991977007 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05555555556 5.21951772744 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282267737099 0.243740707755 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0885895903486 0.0831039109588 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0874328735341 0.0758088955206 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174932835474 0.150359130593 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0666360872911 0.0667264976115 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.1392134831 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.