Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Global warming although being a very real life-threatning problem in the recent decades, it cannot be concluded that this may be the sole reason for the decline in the numbers of Arctic deers. The logic the author put up was not cogent and pertinent with the problem and seems to be based on falacies. A much stronger and coherent logic would have made the argument much stronger for the author.
Firstly, the report was given by hunters who hunt wild animals for money, food or sometimes just for fun. Hunting is a very common hobby in Canada and people can very commonly shoot deers for their recreation. The whole story about global warming putting an effect on Arctic deers may be just a play for them. Their histrionic reaction cannot be mistaken for the fact that they may be the sole reason for the low number of Arctic deers. It can be very easy and mostly convincible story to put the blame on global warming but this cannot fully believed without proper investigation.
Secondly, even if we not consider the first logic, the local reports of the hunters are not scientific. It is a very common trend of animals to migrate to a better land with warmth and food. Such is the case for Arctic deers and it can be very easily misunderstood by the hunters to be mistaken for reduction in number of deers. Also, the counting method may not be correct and they can just be giving opinion based on what they actually saw. It might have been a very cold day and the animals might have stayed inside a den for warmth or they may have just moved somewhere else for food. It cannot be concluded that the local reports are accurate unless there is a proper scientific way it has been done.
Finally, global warming may not actually affect Canada’s arctic regions. They can get very cold even in the summer days. Also, since the deers look for warmth themselves, it cannot be the reason for their decline. For what we can assume that there might be more food available for them if the ice melts. Global warming thus may not play a role for their reduction. And even if it does, it cannot be decided that this affects the Arctic regions of Canada.
In conclusion, although the author tried to give a good amount of reasoning to the fact but they were not perspicacious and lacked proper coherence. It would have been a stronger argument with proper proof of reports that have been claimed by the hunters. Also it has to be properly investigated whether the reports were actually true or were just a façade to hide the crimes of the hunters.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2040 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.464 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.255 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.87 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.535 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.298 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 257, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... that have been claimed by the hunters. Also it has to be properly investigated whet...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2095.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58424507659 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34139348424 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431072210066 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 643.5 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.1652707686 57.8364921388 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.0869565217 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8695652174 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73913043478 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155665264844 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.057897892042 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0412917695537 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102244150592 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0633672773097 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.3550499002 143% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.197005988 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 12.5979740519 74% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.