The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
It is stated in the application made by the vice president that, electronic monitoring should be implied at work station to keep an eye on each and every employee internet activity. Additionally, he support the argument by stating that by doing so we can punish the employ who is wasting time and this may lead to burgeon the company’s profit. However, before recommendation can be properly evaluated, some question must be answer.
To begin with, how much it will cost to install this software in each and every system? Or how much time it will take? As there are more than a thousand systems in the company it is byzantine to install this software to each and every system. Even if we plan to install software, it may be time consuming and it may lead to debacle as our company uses many internet based software. If this happens to be true then it is just wasting of time and money and this may even attenuate the company work. By considering all this recommendation made by the vice president, does not hold any water.
Moreover, what if employees don’t like the idea of this software? Or what if employee gets angry on this idea of installing this software? If employees feel that this software is undermining their freedom or privacy then they might get angry or disappointed and its blatant that if the employee is not happy with his/her job than he/she will not work to his/her full potential. This may leads debacle to the company. If this happens to be true than employee will not like to work at this company and they will shift to some other company where they will get some freedom and privacy which will lead to the huge loose to company. By considering all this recommendation made by the vice president seems to be undermining.
Finally, what if by installing this software employs work pressure increases? Or what if employees work load increases? If employees work pressure increases then it may effect on his/her job and it is plausible that his/her performance may decrease and he/she may become more aggressive. If, this happens to be true then company may face major loss. As, employee is the most important part of company taking his/her care is the first priority of any company. By considering all this conclusion drawn from recommendation is weaken.
In conclusion, recommendation made by the vice president, that support his claim, dubious as well as erroneous. If, all above question are answer then it may strengthen the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 1984 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.582 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.606 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.243 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 353, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun internet seems to be countable; consider using: 'many '.
Suggestion: many
...may lead to debacle as our company uses many internet based software. If this happens to be t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 590, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ice president, does not hold any water. Moreover, what if employees don’t like t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 170, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...ees work pressure increases then it may effect on his/her job and it is plausible that...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 289, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and he/she may become more aggressive. If, this happens to be true then company m...
^^
Line 7, column 351, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... true then company may face major loss. As, employee is the most important part of...
^^
Line 7, column 524, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
...conclusion drawn from recommendation is weaken. In conclusion, recommendation...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 532, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on drawn from recommendation is weaken. In conclusion, recommendation made by th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 113, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...is claim, dubious as well as erroneous. If, all above question are answer then it ...
^^
Line 9, column 184, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er then it may strengthen the argument.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, in conclusion, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 57.0 28.8173652695 198% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2054.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 425.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83294117647 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71878662128 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.435294117647 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 633.6 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.7068638181 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.3043478261 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4782608696 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.34782608696 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165357914588 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0552574121396 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0560775232395 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101482660404 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0505585477618 0.0628817314937 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.