"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
The article concludes that if a business wants to prosper it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night. In order to support the conclusion, several evidences are presented. Although, these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. Hence, in order to make the argument more sound, the article must mention the following especific evidences.
First of all, the rating is based on only 300 male and female. I think relying in this small study, the author has gone into the big conclusion, isn't it? If this study doesn't follow the picture as a whole. Then in this case, the conclusion made on this basis, would go unwarranted.
Second of all, the the study has not mentioned the age group of the executives, as we know, the age group of the executive largely affect the result. If the study was conducted only in young executive, or possibly in only the age group of more than fourty years old, then the conclusion based on this study might in different way. Hence in such case the conclusion doesn't hold water.
Third of all, the study has not presented the statistical data, perhaps, the those executives needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night slighy more profit margins and faster growth, which is insignificant to go into the conclusion.
In sum, the conclusion provided by the author is not persuasive, if the writer presents more especific evidences such as the age group of the people the study conducted, research in big scale, and the statistical data, the argument might be more persuasive.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-08 | yuktapradeep | 50 | view |
| 2023-08-08 | yuktapradeep | 55 | view |
| 2023-08-01 | DoveKerry | 68 | view |
| 2023-07-12 | Jonginn | 73 | view |
| 2023-05-11 | Manisha_karim2804 | 60 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 275 350
No. of Characters: 1264 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.072 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.596 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.491 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 74 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.086 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 146, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...uthor has gone into the big conclusion, isnt it? If this study doesnt follow the pic...
^^^^
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... big conclusion, isnt it? If this study doesnt follow the picture as a whole. Then in ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 16, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ould go unwarranted. Second of all, the the study has not mentioned the age group o...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 16, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ould go unwarranted. Second of all, the the study has not mentioned the age group o...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... executive largely affect the result. If the study was conducted only in young ex...
^^
Line 5, column 333, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...d on this study might in different way. Hence in such case the conclusion doesnt hold...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 367, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... way. Hence in such case the conclusion doesnt hold water. Third of all, the stu...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 170, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...group of the people the study conducted, research in big scale, and the statistic...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, second, so, then, third, i think, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1325.0 2260.96107784 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 272.0 441.139720559 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87132352941 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06108636974 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5882953494 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.544117647059 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 410.4 705.55239521 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.8306056409 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.923076923 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9230769231 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61538461538 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134790240276 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0451949830176 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0549440186649 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0759730707861 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0504751427539 0.0628817314937 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.