The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a journal on environmental issues.
"Over the past year, the Crust Copper Company (CCC) has purchased over 10,000 square miles of land in the tropical nation of West Fredonia. Mining copper on this land will inevitably result in pollution and, since West Fredonia is the home of several endangered animal species, in environmental disaster. But such disasters can be prevented if consumers simply refuse to purchase products that are made with CCC's copper unless the company abandons its mining plans."
The author states that the Crust copper company has purchased over 10,000 square miles of land in West Fredonia to mine copper. The author assumes that this would inevitably lead to pollution and an environmental disaster as many endangered species’ lives would be in danger. The only way to stop this from happening would be to stop buying CCC copper products. This assumption is completely flawed and dosen’t make sense.
First of all, the area is spread over 10,000 square miles, this is a humongous space for mining copper and because of this the author assumes they will immediately start mining on so much land and cause pollution. Since the company could purchase so much land, it must have the resources and technologies to stop pollution or at least reduce it. With advancing technology, there are various methods and machines which are efficient and cause less harm to the environment. Being a massive mining company means that the mining team must be headed by experts and scientists who must have researched adequately before purchasing the land. Hence more research is needed to support the conclusion.
Secondly, the author states that West Fredonia is home to many endangered species and mining on such a vast area could put these animals’ lives in danger. Well firstly, since these animals are endangered, they must be less in number and since their number is so miniscule, there is a possibility that they could be located in a small area. West Fredonia being a tropical area must be densely populated with greenery and these animals must be settled in these regions, hence it only makes sense for the company not to penetrate too deep and destroy habitats as it could be dangerous and since they have ample space, they could possibly leave these areas untouched.
Lastly, the solution provided by the author is absurd. How can one possibly know if a copper item is made by a specific company unless they label the product with their sticker which we don’t know if they do. A consumer can’t waste time by checking each and every item for the CCC sticker or label. Copper is an essential part of more or less all industries and by boycotting CCC’s products is not fair because the author dosen’t know if animals are being harmed for the raw materials of making copper.
Hence, to sum it all up the author should be more careful to list down assumptions and the solution before looking into the company or doing his/her own research.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 1990 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.682 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.368 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.576 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rchased over 10,000 square miles of land in West Fredonia to mine copper. The aut...
^^
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ered species’ lives would be in danger. The only way to stop this from happening wo...
^^^
Line 3, column 636, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... adequately before purchasing the land. Hence more research is needed to support the ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 219, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: less
...se animals are endangered, they must be less in number and since their number is so miniscule,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 621, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...s and since they have ample space, they could possibly leave these areas untouched. Lastly,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, look, second, secondly, so, well, at least, first of all, more or less
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2056.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 421.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88361045131 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46415504309 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50593824228 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.5077585938 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.941176471 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7647058824 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.17647058824 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245306583452 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0897504963481 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.135677473385 0.0701772020484 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144913395677 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122511939361 0.0628817314937 195% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.