The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the recommendation from the committee planning of Calatrav city, it is stated that they should fund the city facility and programs used primarily by adults. The committee came to the conclusion based on the fact that the birth rate in the city is decreasing. However, before this recommendation some questions should be answered.
Firstly, the birth-rate of last year is taken as a reference, whereas they do not know if the birth-rate at present is decreasing or not. Also, even if, the birth-rate may be decreasing but population can still increase by migration. The native might be contributing in ebbing birth rate but the migrants can surely soar the infant population. Also the population is always dynamic in nature. birth-rate could increase starting next year. So, the assumption that birth-rate that was low last year will further decrease should be supported by the warranted statics and data.
Secondly, it is vague to assume that the student enrolled in the public schools will decrease as the students can migrate from different location. Also, idea of reducing budget for a decayed for education is denounceable as education will make the strong foundation for the students of Calatrava. Moreover, if population starts to increase and birth rate aggrandise then the education system in Calatrava will collapse.
Lastly, reducing the budget of athletic playing field and recreational activity is inappropriate as not just the students but people of any age could relish these facilities. Also, there concern fo adult population is unjustified in the recommendation. Adults at present will surely start their family and will contribute to the birth rate in near future. And, children will need these facilities, whose budget is being reduced.
In conclusion; the recommendation, to reduce the budget of education, playing fields and recreational activities, as it stands now, has many flaws and unwarranted assumptions. If author is able to provide further evidence to answer the arguments raised above, then the validity of the recommendation could be evaluated properly.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1717 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.203 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.922 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.626 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.327 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 344, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... can surely soar the infant population. Also the population is always dynamic in nat...
^^^^
Line 2, column 393, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Birth-rate
...population is always dynamic in nature. birth-rate could increase starting next year. So, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, whereas, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1765.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 330.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34848484848 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01289697955 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.554545454545 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 549.0 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.0725037346 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0555555556 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3333333333 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14839452198 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0473734568201 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0445656522759 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0788274751252 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0437324843525 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.