There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The paragraph given states that the residents of Leeville due to their relaxed pace of life have comparatively longer lives than the residents of Masonton who are accustomed to a hectic pace of life as it is a big city. However, the conclusion might not hold water, as it stands on several unfounded assumptions if not substantiated would dramatically weaken the argument. Thus the following three alternative explanations must be addressed.
Firstly, the report on the businesses in the small town of Leeville reports fewer days of sick leaves taken by individual workers than the businesses in the large city of Masonton. Is the report made valid enough? As the larger city is more populous the number of leaves could have been more when compared to the small town where the population amounts to just one thousand. Since there are more individual workers the number of sick leaves reported from Masonton could be more than Leeville.
Lastly, it is stated that a relaxed pace of life promotes better health and greater longevity compared to a hectic pace of life in the big cities. On what basis is the comparison being made? When comparing two different lifestyles there is further evidence that is needed to persuade the readers to adopt the lifestyle recommended by the author, For instance, if a resident of the big city even though life is hectic in the city Is taking care of himself by doing physical exercises and taking healthy foods he may live longer compared to the resident of a small town. However, if the above case is true the author needs further evidence to persuade the readers.
In conclusion, the people of the small town of Leeville might have healthier and longer lives due to their relaxed pace of life compared to the hectic lifestyle of Masonton. However, as it stands now the argument stands on two unreliable assumptions made by the author, for these assumptions to hold water the author needs more persuasive evidence.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 331 350
No. of Characters: 1593 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.265 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.813 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.255 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 374, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...would dramatically weaken the argument. Thus the following three alternative explana...
^^^^
Line 4, column 215, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...onton. Is the report made valid enough? As the larger city is more populous the nu...
^^
Line 4, column 376, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...opulation amounts to just one thousand. Since there are more individual workers the n...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 390, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... instance, if a resident of the big city even though life is hectic in the city I...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, so, thus, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1632.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 331.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93051359517 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26537283232 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65908056813 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468277945619 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 526.5 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 85.820440042 57.8364921388 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.538461538 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4615384615 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.07692307692 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.43523253202 0.218282227539 199% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.138237898865 0.0743258471296 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.147321381812 0.0701772020484 210% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21299699518 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0611042664359 0.0628817314937 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.