In surveys Mason city residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, fishing) among their favorite recreational activities. The mason river flowing through this city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city devotes less of its budget to maintaining the recreational facilities
For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river’s water and the river’s smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is therefore sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year’s budget to riverside recreational facilities
The statement claims that increasing the annual budget on Masion River should lead to an increase in the use of river for water sports. The conclusion is supported by the recent survey which showed that water sports are the residents’ favorite recreational activities, and the constant complaints from those residents on the quality of river’s water. However, before this assumption can be evaluated, three questions must be answered.
Firstly, by ‘favorite recreational activities’, are they the favorite recreation activities to ‘participate’? There is a possibility that residents just prefer to watch those sport competitions rather than being in the field themselves. Perhaps the surveyor didn’t specifically address the question when performing the survey, and surveyees interpreted the questions in different ways – one may think it’s favorite to watch, another thinks it’s favorite to participate, another thinks it’s favorite to put a bet on. Eventually it causes this survey to be inaccurate. If the above is true, then the argument is considered weak.
Secondly, does the people complain about the river quality so that they can use the river? Possibly the complaint arose merely from the irritation that affects people’s daily lives. The terrible smell of the river might irritate those households located near the river, and they can’t open any window or door because the smell will come in. Thus, they file the complaint in the hope that they can get a better air quality. There’s a possibility that the real reason behind complaints regarding the water quality is because they’re environmentalists and care about the overall nature. Therefore, it might not be necessarily related to recreational sport purpose. If the above scenarios are accurate, then the conclusion drawn is significantly weakened.
Thirdly, do the residents use the river for those water sports? Swimmers might prefer to use a professional swimming pool at a sport club because they want a controlled environment – stable water current, perfect water temperature, no rain. Fishing lovers might love to do it at an indoor manmade pond instead because they don’t want to interfere an ecosystem. Likewise, people who loves boating sports might prefer to enjoy doing it at another river because it has a not too strong water current. Unless these points are addressed, the argument is still unconvincing.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence (perhaps in term of the systematic research study), then it would be possible to fully evaluated the suggestion to increase the budget to Masion River.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2245 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.149 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.793 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.466 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.039 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5