Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take In developing and support

Essay topics:

Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.

__________

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Controversy over government investment in arts has waged important argument for a long time. While it is clear of the significance of arts in the society, there is not yet a concensus on whether the government should spend a great amount of tax revenue on it. For a long time, I have been standing on the side of "the least intervention," and it is not only because of my identity as an aspiring economist, but also because of the value of freedom I believe in. Let me elucidate that further.
Inevitably I have to first address the issues regarding basic economics. In the passage, it is suggested that spending on arts is so crucial that it should be expand to the same level as spending military. It should be noted that military is a whole different issue than art, regardless of their equal importance in people's lives. Military can only be provided by the government for its public good nature. Citizens do not have the incentive to provide military to defend their people because once the defense is employed, everyone in the nation benefits. On the other hand, arts can totally be run by private organizations. Galleries, private collection, private museums..., as long as people have the inerest to enjoy, they are willing to invest in arts. Thus, there should not be so much concern over whether there is a lack of investment in art since people, in nature, appreciate things that are beautiful and thought-provoking. In the Renaissance Italy, arts florished not because of government but because of the rich families that are willing to spend to cultivate the artists.
Another reason why I strongly oppose large government intervention in arts is how it might contrain freedom, which is at the core of arts. Art is a form of self-expressing, and it should not be limited. The hazard of government investment in art, especially if it dominates, is likely to lead to silence on the policies. After all, artists still have to look out for their livelihood so they do not want to irrtate their investors. However, great arts sometimes, if not most of the time, comes from different opinions: Milan Kundera, famous writer in former Czech Republic, was a dissident against the USSR alliance. If he was only sponsored by the government, there is no way he can make a living writing the brilliant "the unbearable lightness in life", which contains much of his ideas against the then regime.
There is little doubt of the importance of arts. It has shaped our lives in an imaginable way, and like all other forms of activies, it requires resources to florish. However, I do not believe that government should be the main character in this, for arts has its special meaning of freedom that should be independent from the incumbent power, and that there are other ways--private, namely--to support its development.

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Average: 4.6 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 342, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...the side of 'the least intervention,' and it is not only because of my ident...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 159, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'expanded'?
Suggestion: expanded
...on arts is so crucial that it should be expand to the same level as spending military....
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 73, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an imaginable way" with adverb for "imaginable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...rtance of arts. It has shaped our lives in an imaginable way, and like all other forms of activies, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, regarding, so, still, then, thus, while, after all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2358.0 2235.4752809 105% => OK
No of words: 481.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90228690229 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94056158919 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 215.323595506 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509355509356 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 750.6 704.065955056 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5705381542 60.3974514979 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.181818182 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8636363636 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.81818181818 5.21951772744 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186050870082 0.243740707755 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0527585818829 0.0831039109588 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0364974290854 0.0758088955206 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112911038432 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0301002903169 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 100.480337079 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.