You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia.Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter, explain:when you want to visit the Snowy Mountainshow long you wil

Essay topics:

You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia.
Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter, explain:
when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains
how long you will stay
how many students are in your party and what accommodation you will require

Dear sir,
I am a trip organizer who plans to arrange an excursion to snowy mountains with a group of students from Perth.I would like to book rooms in your hostel for us during this trip.

we are planning to visit the place in may of this year, in which the weather is extremely good, so that we could enjoy the most picturesque moments there. The students have 2 weeks of vacation, so the trip will last for more than 1 week, to be precise 9 days.

What is more, as there will be 20 members including staff, we need 3 rooms, one should be double room and other two could be dormitory,which can accommodate 10 students, with bath attached facility.T he students include half girls and boys, so it would be great if you are kind enough to provide the rooms for children in two different buildings.

I hope you would consider my booking as early as possible and please let me know if there is any difficulty in processing my request.
Yours faithfully,
Neenu varghese

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Neenu martin :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 112, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...ins with a group of students from Perth.I would like to book rooms in your hostel...
^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...your hostel for us during this trip. we are planning to visit the place in may ...
^^
Line 6, column 135, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...le room and other two could be dormitory,which can accommodate 10 students, with bath ...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 199, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: T
...0 students, with bath attached facility.T he students include half girls and boys...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, may, so, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.48453608247 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 4.92783505155 223% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 3.0 5.05154639175 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 32.9175257732 58% => OK
Preposition: 19.0 26.3917525773 72% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.85567010309 26% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 803.0 937.175257732 86% => OK
No of words: 177.0 206.0 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.53672316384 4.54256449028 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.64748333727 3.78020617076 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55283472089 2.54303337028 100% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 127.690721649 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.717514124294 0.622605031667 115% => OK
syllable_count: 233.1 290.88556701 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.41237113402 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.13402061856 66% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 1.44329896907 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 12.6804123711 47% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 16.3608247423 177% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.0983292721 44.8134815571 214% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 133.833333333 76.5299724578 175% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.5 16.8248392259 175% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.16666666667 4.34317383033 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 2.54639175258 157% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.94845360825 25% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184564968371 0.216113520407 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0823587872259 0.0766984524023 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698418271243 0.0603063233224 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107299396673 0.12726935374 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0781743128552 0.0580467560999 135% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 8.37731958763 175% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.42 70.7449484536 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 7.45979381443 149% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 8.71597938144 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 7.59969072165 102% => OK
difficult_words: 30.0 41.2886597938 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 8.62886597938 151% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 8.54432989691 159% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.