Most culture encourage individuals to sacrifice a large part of their own personalities in order to be like other people. Thus, most people are afraid to think or behave differently because they do not want to be excluded.
According to the speaker, most people are afraid to be themselves and think of their own because of the fear of being excluded from their culture. The speaker here asserts two claims: i) Many of the culture encourage their followers to sacrifice their own personalities to be like the other people ii) Many people, because of the fear of being excluded from the culture, do not behave differently. I insofar agree with the claim made by the first position as every culture have certain rules and regulations which their followers need to follow.
Every cultures are based on certain kinds of beliefs and tradition, and breaking these beliefs and tradition by any means refers to the disrespect of those culture which may bring conflict among the people. As a paragon, Bhramins caste are not allowed to eat beef; Cows are worshiped as Goddess Laxmi and is considered as a epitome of mother. Consuming beefs means eating meat of own mother in the culture of Bhramins. Another instances can be taken from the Muslims people, who are not allowed to consume alcohol. Consuming alcohol is taken as sin in their culture. People born in these cultures have the mindset that if they do not obey the rules of their culture or act opposite to them, something bad may happen. Although people are educated and even the science do not have any facts related to these, people still fear to go against the norms of culture and end up sacrificing their own personalities.
However, there are some people who do not fear of being excluded from the culture. People are more educated nowadays and have started knowing the different aspects and part of the cultural beliefs. They are able to distinguish the preternatural beliefs and are not readily agree to accept them. As an instance, In Newar community of Kathmanu valley, it was not allowed to marry outside their caste and whoever tries to break this rule would be excluded from their Guthi( A community of Newar people), and they were not allowed to perfom any rituals belonging to their culture. Yet, there were lots of people who married outside their caste. So, even though the culture implants the fear of being excluded if people behave differently, it is upon the people what they want to do. Thus culture should not be solely blamed for encouraging people to sacrifice their own thinking and personalities.
- All to often, companies hire outside consultants to suggests ways for the company to operate more efficiently. If companies were to spend more time listening to their own employees, such consultants would be unnecessary 33
- Sports stars and movie stars have an obligation to behave as role model for the young people who look up to them. In return for the million of dollars that they are paid, we should expect them to fulfill this social responsibility. 50
- Most culture encourage individuals to sacrifice a large part of their own personalities in order to be like other people. Thus, most people are afraid to think or behave differently because they do not want to be excluded. 66
- On Balmer Island , where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians the town council of Balmer Island should limit the 50
- Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such language from becoming extinct. 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: EACH_EVERY_NNS[1]
Message: 'Each' and 'every' are used with singular. Did you mean 'all'?
Suggestion: All
...which their followers need to follow. Every cultures are based on certain kinds of ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...d as Goddess Laxmi and is considered as a epitome of mother. Consuming beefs mean...
^
Line 3, column 380, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er. Consuming beefs means eating meat of own mother in the culture of Bhramins. A...
^^
Line 5, column 778, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...s upon the people what they want to do. Thus culture should not be solely blamed for...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, so, still, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1948.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 402.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84577114428 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49701190203 2.79657885939 89% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487562189055 0.4932671777 99% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 704.065955056 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.598768693 60.3974514979 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.588235294 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6470588235 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.35294117647 5.21951772744 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.97078651685 60% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.409229652328 0.243740707755 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.132554597447 0.0831039109588 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111630570603 0.0758088955206 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.290660516276 0.150359130593 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0928918258081 0.0667264976115 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.8420337079 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 100.480337079 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.