Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that lucky is a fundamental factors in gaining achievements. While i accept that fortune plays a role in being success, however, working hard and determination are the most critical keys in achieving their targets.
I advocated the notion that determined and industrious people will meet their goal. Take Thomas Edison as an example. He had to take a lot of experiments before he found out the finest light bulb. People need to take time to work hard, practice to attain the best result. Or some disadvantaged people can be influencers for society or successful people in many fields that results from their efforts such and Nick Vuijick,...
On the other hand, luck plays a very small role in being successful. Firstly, people can’t be solely dependent on fortune. For example, it is impossible to say that Newton could find out the law of gravity only when an apple had fallen down on his head by chance. He had to work with a lot of theories before to conduct the conclusion. Secondly, fortune can’t get along with someone forever. A students can’t accomplish his aim without trying hard no matter how lucky he is.
To sum up, i strongly believe that to meet goals, people can’t only depend on fortune but also they need to make their effort and follow their passion till the end.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 86, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... factors in gaining achievements. While i accept that fortune plays a role in bei...
^
Line 2, column 237, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practice attaining'.
Suggestion: practice attaining
... People need to take time to work hard, practice to attain the best result. Or some disadvantaged ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 422, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , .
...from their efforts such and Nick Vuijick,... On the other hand, luck plays a ver...
^^
Line 2, column 426, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... their efforts such and Nick Vuijick,... On the other hand, luck plays a very sma...
^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A student' or simply 'students'?
Suggestion: A student; Students
...e can’t get along with someone forever. A students can’t accomplish his aim without trying...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, second, secondly, so, while, for example, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 41.998997996 81% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.3376753507 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1088.0 1615.20841683 67% => OK
No of words: 227.0 315.596192385 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79295154185 5.12529762239 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 4.20363070211 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56000585834 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 176.041082164 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.638766519824 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 327.6 506.74238477 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6845129237 49.4020404114 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.7142857143 106.682146367 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2142857143 20.7667163134 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 7.06120827912 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0838581006824 0.244688304435 34% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0271647291161 0.084324248473 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0319680915169 0.0667982634062 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0565366249791 0.151304729494 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0208579973914 0.056905535591 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 13.0946893788 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 50.2224549098 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 11.3001002004 64% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.4159519038 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.58950901804 94% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 78.4519038076 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.7795591182 65% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.