The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years 1960 and 2010

Essay topics:

The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010.

The bar charts compare the proportion of working population in three distinct sectors between Town A and Town B in 1960 and 2010.
Overall, the sales sector had the biggest workforce in both Town A and Town B in 1960. However, there were some significant changes in 2010, while the proportion of the manufacturing accounted for the main part in Town A, the highest figure was the sales in Town B.
In town A, 41% of people worked in the sales in the 1960-2010 period, which was higher than that of the services, at 30%. the lowest figure in Town A was the manufacturing, at only 29%. However, after 50 years, the percentage of workers who participated in the manufacturing in Town A sharply increased to 64%, which was higher than the sales, at only 20%. The figure of the services dropped to 16%.
In 1960, the sales accounted for 70% in Town B, which was the highest part of the town. Besides, 20% of workforce took part in the services at the same year, compared to 10% of the manufacturing. In 2010, the figure of the sales had a decreasing trend to 53% in Town B, whereas that of the services slightly grew up to 22%. In 2010, the percentage of employees who worked in the manufacturing sector was 25% in town B.

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Average: 8 (15 votes)
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 266, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... highest figure was the sales in Town B. In town A, 41% of people worked in the s...
^^^
Line 3, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...gher than that of the services, at 30%. the lowest figure in Town A was the manufac...
^^^
Line 4, column 419, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... manufacturing sector was 25% in town B.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, however, if, so, whereas, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.0 100% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 6.8 44% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.15609756098 222% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 2.0 5.60731707317 36% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 33.7804878049 133% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.97073170732 76% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 999.0 965.302439024 103% => OK
No of words: 224.0 196.424390244 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.45982142857 4.92477711251 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.86867284054 3.73543355544 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67654313086 2.65546596893 101% => OK
Unique words: 99.0 106.607317073 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.441964285714 0.547539520022 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 282.6 283.868780488 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.33902439024 207% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 3.36585365854 238% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.4926829268 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.5367806579 43.030603864 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.8181818182 112.824112599 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3636363636 22.9334400587 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.63636363636 5.23603664747 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.09268292683 195% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.324869133251 0.215688989381 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.143946414175 0.103423049105 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107132316728 0.0843802449381 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238744093726 0.15604864568 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0704284837154 0.0819641961636 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 13.2329268293 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 76.56 61.2550243902 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.3012195122 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 11.4140731707 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.06136585366 90% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 40.7170731707 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.4329268293 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.9970731707 91% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.0658536585 90% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.