Three years ago, because of flooding at the Western Palean Wildlife Preserve, 100 lions and 100 western gazelles were moved to the East Palean Preserve, an area that is home to most of the same species that are found in the western preserve, though in larger numbers, and to the eastern gazelle, a close relative of the western gazelle. The only difference in climate is that the eastern preserve typically has slightly less rainfall. Unfortunately, after three years in the eastern preserve, the imported western gazelle population has been virtually eliminated. Since the slight reduction in rainfall cannot be the cause of the virtual elimination of western gazelle, their disappearance must have been caused by the larger number of predators in the eastern preserve.
In the article, the author concludes that the eradication of Western Gazelle is caused by predators and not due to the reduction in rainfall. However, while the conclusion drawn might be true, it rests on several unfounded assumptions, if not substantiated, dramatically weakens the persuasiveness of the argument. Thus the following three specific pieces of evidence must be collected and analysed.
First of all, the author states that slight reduction in rainfall was not to be accountable for decimation of western gazelle’s. This assumption might be wrong. Perhaps, the reduction in rainfall led to sunny climate for about three years and water resources started to vanish. This will cause a demand for resources among animals. While predators stand the first to access the resources, other animals would not want to fight with those deadly creatures. Thus others should survive with what is left. This would have led to quarrel’s among them – fighting for resources ultimately leading to death. Thus water shortage might have also been a part of the disappearance.
Secondly, while predators might be the reason for the excretion, there are possibilities that it might not be true. Perhaps, the East Palean gazelle were not friendly with the western Palean gazelle, even though they were closely related. For example, let’s take dogs of same breed. Even though they are analogue, their behavior changes depending upon situations. For example, they might fight for food and shelter resources. Similarly, maybe the Eastern gazelle were threatened by the existence of the western gazelle, which might have led to a decision of hunting the latter without mercy.
Finally, Flooding caused the lions and gazelles to be moved to East Palean. Maybe, this flood could have caused the reduction in life time of gazelle’s. The reason only gazelle’s were affected was, maybe because of their weakness in comparison with the lions. For example, the water might have been polluted with chemical from industries, plastic waste etc. Maybe during their travel, the animals were not supported well enough, to stay alive after three years. Thus there are possibilities that animals would have died not by other animals but maybe due to flood that happened three years ago.
In conclusion, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to provide the three pieces of evidence stated above and perhaps conduct a systematic research study, then it will be possible to determine whether the predators killed eastern gazelle or maybe it was due to other phenomenon.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2136 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.086 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.612 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2136 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.086 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.612 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.285 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5