Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay topics:

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions differ as to whether it is diligence and persistence or material health and visual aspects that help people to be successful. Admitted; both views are reasonable with its merits; however, I tend to be convinced by the former idea, considering the patience, valuable life experiences, as well as the foundation of success that it brings.
Rationally, people living in affluent families have superior foundations: they can afford high-quality education and living conditions. To clarify, their opulent parents tend to invest a massive amount of money, enabling them to study in international schools, which is prohibitively expensive. Doubtlessly, another factor such as attractive outward appearance, which seems rather insignificant to clerical work, is solely beneficial for people desiring to follow entertainment and fashion careers. To illustrate, the more glamorous and charming people are, the more renowned and attention-drawing they become.
Conversely, a reason which convinces me to reject the previous idea is that assiduity, in addition to endurance, can develop people’s human capital. To put it simply, industriousness comes along with effort and patience, which are valuable and indispensable virtues, whilst determination generates motivations as well as setting up actual and achievable goals. A salient example can be seen in Nick Vujicic, despite the absence of four limbs, still successfully earned a bachelor in double major, and he became an influencer, travelling around the world to encourage the youth.
In conclusion, people have the rationale to assume that physical looks and money are pivotal to be successful. Despite this, I still support the opinion that hard work and assertion can create fruitful opportunities to thrive since it is more advantageous and aims for the long-run betterment.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Mainhie :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 17, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
Opinions differ as to whether it is diligence and persistence or mate...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 294, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...he patience, valuable life experiences, as well as the foundation of success that it bring...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 579, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...round the world to encourage the youth. In conclusion, people have the rationale...
^^^
Line 4, column 295, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s and aims for the long-run betterment.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
conversely, however, if, look, so, still, well, as to, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 41.998997996 79% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1563.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 276.0 315.596192385 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.66304347826 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.07593519647 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.21795227842 2.80592935109 115% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 176.041082164 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.659420289855 0.561755894193 117% => OK
syllable_count: 486.0 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 38.7869791562 49.4020404114 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.090909091 106.682146367 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0909090909 20.7667163134 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.27272727273 7.06120827912 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170615066543 0.244688304435 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0560798096138 0.084324248473 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0290863537428 0.0667982634062 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0950101288131 0.151304729494 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0262834893191 0.056905535591 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 13.0946893788 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.18 50.2224549098 58% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 11.3001002004 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.84 12.4159519038 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.88 8.58950901804 127% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.