One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Essay topics:

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In contemporary society, the development of medical care has the result is that are living for long times and lifespan of people more and more rising. From my standpoint, the consequences of improved medical care have more benefits for people outweighing drawbacks. In this essay, both sides would be explored within my explanation.
On the one hand, recent studies provide information that have more and more devices evolve on health care should make health of citizens become easier to find out and treat diseases. For example, devices can find out exactly the carrier of people and shows result of the period of the disease. Furthermore, it gives some treatments to treat, or it should help people to treat some serious illnesses. Moreover, improved medical care can help recognize illness early or doctors have a lot of discretion in provided the best preventive measures. For instance, health care makes diseased individuals develop health, longevity, lived more longer.
On the other hand, following developed medical care that the cost increases to pay for the process diagnosis and cured. However, this thing makes poor people who don’t have enough money to afford that fee because the cost quite expensive. Additionally, sometimes diagnosis machines can give wrong consequences. Admittedly, when the device has an error then it needs so much time to fix and repairing.

In conclusion, the essay above explored about the consequences of evolution medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. From my perspective, that evolution has many benefits to help people, but the price would be rise, due to that help some individuals have their health more better

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Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 309, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'better' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: better
...help some individuals have their health more better
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1439.0 1615.20841683 89% => OK
No of words: 273.0 315.596192385 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27106227106 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06481385082 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72474294705 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 176.041082164 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.567765567766 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 455.4 506.74238477 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.1779370999 49.4020404114 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.785714286 106.682146367 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 20.7667163134 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85714285714 7.06120827912 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260592661498 0.244688304435 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0920919695427 0.084324248473 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0913042267878 0.0667982634062 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161038275995 0.151304729494 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0488765356378 0.056905535591 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 13.0946893788 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 50.2224549098 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 78.4519038076 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.