TPO45
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of decisions in every one's life. Some people may hold the opinion that in the past young people could not make their decisions without their parents but today young people are able to make independence decisions. But, others have negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, this statement is true and I strongly agree with it. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a young person can typically gain from individual decisions today. Needless to say, today young people want independence in their lifes while there were not same expection in the past. So, young people bring this independence with their decisions in their lifes. By way of illustration, neither my father nor my mother chose their job independently but I choose it myself according to my interesting.
There is also more subtle point we must consider. Thanks to many improvement in science, young people experience more and learn more in society and university. It goes without saying that, there are many courses in schools and any universities that teach young people to live independently. In contrast, our grandparents did not any sufficient source for learning make decisions individualy. Thus, they had to refer to their parents in each decision.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that broader technology in communication also means finding more material for decisions. To shed more light on the issue, you can find many websites in the internet that give any invaluable advice to you in every situation. Taking my brother for example, when he decide to select his university for undergraduate program, he reads many websites and take many advice from many consulers in internet and chose best univeristy for study. On the other hand, my uncle went to university that my grandfather chose and there were not any additional sources like today for him to make his own decision.
Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree with this statement.
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but today young people are able to make independence decisions. But, others have negative attitude.
Description: two 'but'
There is also more subtle point
There is also a more subtle point
our grandparents did not any sufficient source
our grandparents did not have any sufficient source
Sentence: Taking my brother for example, when he decide to select his university for undergraduate program, he reads many websites and take many advice from many consulers in internet and chose best univeristy for study.
Description: The fragment he decide to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace decide with verb, past tense
Sentence: Needless to say, today young people want independence in their lifes while there were not same expection in the past.
Error: expection Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In contrast, our grandparents did not any sufficient source for learning make decisions individualy.
Error: individualy Suggestion: individual
Sentence: Taking my brother for example, when he decide to select his university for undergraduate program, he reads many websites and take many advice from many consulers in internet and chose best univeristy for study.
Error: univeristy Suggestion: university
Error: consulers Suggestion: consumers
flaws:
The argument 2 and argument 3 are duplicated:
Thanks to many improvement in science,....
broader technology in communication also means finding more material ...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1744 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.941 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.3 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5