Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.
The author asserts that the humans are responsible for the extinction of the various mammal species and the reason is excessive hunting. To support this assertion author states that humans relied of fishing and hunting and as archeologists have found bones of fish, they assume that humans may have hunted mammals also. It might be possible but there are other more probable reasons that may have caused extinction of mammals.
Firstly, author states that mammals existed 7000 years ago and within 3000 years span they started declining as early humans relied on hunting. It might be possible but, 7000 years ago, it is long time, many things would have changed in that period may be due to climate change mammals would have died. As mammals were known to fur over their bodies as the temperatures were lower in those days, it might be the case on Kaliko islands . Temperatures would have risen up which caused the death extinction of mammals.
Secondly, author supports his clam by saying that archeologist found bones of fish and depending on this they concluded mammals also may have been hunted down by humans. It is not mentioned anywhere in the passage that bones or remains of mammals were also found, which is important to prove that mammals actually lived over there.
Finally, researchers have found simple stones knives that could have been used for hunting. By mentioning simple stone knives author made a self-contradictory statement. How the simple stone knives can be used to hunt down big mammals. At least one would require big weapon to kill a mammal.
Concluding, author should mention and consider other angles that might be possible which has caused extinction of mammals though hunting in the Kaliko islands region by primitive humans can be the reason.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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In this essay, we are asked to prove that it is human being who made the extinction.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1451 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.902 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.39 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.68 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 315, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...ume that humans may have hunted mammals also. It might be possible but there are oth...
^^^^
Line 2, column 434, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
..., it might be the case on Kaliko islands . Temperatures would have risen up which ...
^^
Line 5, column 205, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... by primitive humans can be the reason.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, may, second, secondly, so, at least
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1485.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 296.0 441.139720559 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01689189189 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44513073447 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.52027027027 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 445.5 705.55239521 63% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.3914943035 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.071428571 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1428571429 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78571428571 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201420577426 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0731128043339 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0503852070467 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115574939935 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554578650564 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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More content wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.