“During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo, the vice president of Alta Manufacturing expresses concern over the more on-the-job accidents compared to nearby Panoply Industries. The VP provides the information that Panoply Industries has shift hours one hour less than theirs. He then concludes that reducing the shift hours by one hour for all the three shifts will help reduce accidents. He draws this conclusion from the expert backed fact that sleep deprivation contributes majorly in many accidents. In order to evaluate the effectiveness of this recommendation we need to ask few key questions.
Firstly, we need to ask whether reducing shift hours for all three shifts by one hour will be equally effective. Reducing the morning shift hours might not be as effective as reducing night shift hours, since workers working in morning shift wouldn't be sleep deprived. Night shifts are the ones that cause sleep deprivation and it is not known whether Panoply industries have night shifts at all. If they don't, then that could be the reason why they have lesser accidents and not the shorter duration of shifts.
Secondly, we need to know the statistics of accidents for previous years. If in the previous years the number of accidents was not higher that that of Panoply, then sleep deprivation caused due to longer shift duration might not be the reason for more number of accidents.
Thirdly, we need to ask whether Alta Manufacturing observes proper saftey and precautions, and how does it compare with that of Panoply industries. Simply comparing shift hours without knowing details about other factors is not enough to evaluate the situation. Relying on a expert's belief is not a right way to go. Instead the author needs to consider all possible factors and decide based on evidence.
Therefore we see that, although the recommendation to reduce shift hours seems convincing, we need to ask few questions before proceeding with the implementation of the recommendation. The above questions throws some light on the gaps in argument provided by the author and how we can arrive at a better solution to the problem.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 347 350
No. of Characters: 1716 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.316 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.945 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.882 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.194 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... since workers working in morning shift wouldnt be sleep deprived. Night shifts are the...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...tries have night shifts at all. If they dont, then that could be the reason why they...
^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
... the number of accidents was not higher that that of Panoply, then sleep deprivation caus...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 274, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...h to evaluate the situation. Relying on a experts belief is not a right way to go...
^
Line 7, column 276, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'experts'' or 'expert's'?
Suggestion: experts'; expert's
...to evaluate the situation. Relying on a experts belief is not a right way to go. Instea...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 317, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...xperts belief is not a right way to go. Instead the author needs to consider all possib...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ctors and decide based on evidence. Therefore we see that, although the recommendatio...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 206, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[2]
Message: You should probably use 'throw'.
Suggestion: throw
...the recommendation. The above questions throws some light on the gaps in argument prov...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1758.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09565217391 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77679949167 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507246376812 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.3229459348 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.411764706 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2941176471 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58823529412 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253592423236 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0820494485731 0.0743258471296 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0646551194033 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133354569096 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0872600706862 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.