During the past year,Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents

Essay topics:

During the past year,Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.

The argument claims that Alta Manufacturing should shorten each of the three work shifts by one hour to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents and thereby increase productivity.In order to support the recommendation the author point out that Alta Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries,where the working hours was 1 hour less.He also cities that the fatigue and sleep deprivation are significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents.The argument is not entirely logically convincing, since it ignores certain crucial assumptions.

The author highlights the point that during the past year,Alta Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries.This is not fully convincing as the author has not mention about the number of workers working in both the Industries.Their may be a chance that the number of workers working in Alta Manufacturing are by far more than the number of workers working in nearby Panoply Industries.The data provided by the author is limited to one year and their is a chance that Panoply Industries had more accidents than Alta Manufacturing the year before that and it is not certain that Alta Manufacturing face more accidents most of the years.

The author assumes that the fatigue and sleep deprivation are significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents.It is not fully convincing as the author fails to point the other significant contributing factor that might have contributed to on-the-job accidents.For example, their may be a chance that Alta Manufacturing safety measures and standards are not up to the mark as it should have been and many accidents occur due to that or the training that is provided to the workers before assigning the task may not be sufficient to teach the how to deal with the work environment and avoid accidents.Even their is a chance that Panoply Industries has got safer work environment and better training.

The author also assumes that reducing the number of on-the-job accidents will increase productivity but the author has not provide any evidence that how on-the-job accidents and increasing of productivity are related to each other. Productivity may depend upon many other factors like the availability of raw materials,number of workers working in the manufacturing unit,skill of the workers working and many more.Their is no proof that on-the-job accidents has hinder productivity of the Alta Manufacturing.

Thus,the argument is not completely sound.The evident in support with the claim that that Alta Manufacturing should shorten each of the three work shifts by one hour to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents and thereby increase productivity does little to prove that conclusion,since it doesn't address the assumptions already raised.Ultimately the argument might have been strengthen by providing supporting data from past few years rather than just one years,by assuring that Alta Manufacturing has got nice training programs and safety work environment and by providing the relation how on-the-job accidents and increasing of productivity are related to each other.

Votes
Average: 7.7 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 181, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...dents and thereby increase productivity.In order to support the recommendation the...
^^
Line 1, column 271, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...point out that Alta Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than n...
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Line 1, column 337, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , where
...accidents than nearby Panoply Industries,where the working hours was 1 hour less.He a...
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Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Industries,where the working hours was 1 hour less.He also cities that the fatigu...
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Line 1, column 379, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: He
...here the working hours was 1 hour less.He also cities that the fatigue and sleep ...
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Line 1, column 498, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: The
...ing factor in many on-the-job accidents.The argument is not entirely logically conv...
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Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Alta
...ghts the point that during the past year,Alta Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-t...
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Line 3, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the past year,Alta Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than n...
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Line 3, column 151, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: This
...ccidents than nearby Panoply Industries.This is not fully convincing as the author h...
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Line 3, column 202, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'mentioned'.
Suggestion: mentioned
... fully convincing as the author has not mention about the number of workers working in ...
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Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Their
... workers working in both the Industries.Their may be a chance that the number of work...
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Suggestion: The
...rs working in nearby Panoply Industries.The data provided by the author is limited ...
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Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...y the author is limited to one year and their is a chance that Panoply Industries had...
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Line 5, column 124, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: It
...ing factor in many on-the-job accidents.It is not fully convincing as the author f...
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Line 5, column 274, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: For
...ave contributed to on-the-job accidents.For example, their may be a chance that Alt...
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Line 5, column 551, Rule ID: THE_HOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'how'?
Suggestion: how
...the task may not be sufficient to teach the how to deal with the work environment and a...
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Line 5, column 613, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Even
...he work environment and avoid accidents.Even their is a chance that Panoply Industri...
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Line 5, column 618, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...rk environment and avoid accidents.Even their is a chance that Panoply Industries has...
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Line 7, column 124, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'provided'.
Suggestion: provided
...ase productivity but the author has not provide any evidence that how on-the-job accide...
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Line 7, column 319, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , number
...s like the availability of raw materials,number of workers working in the manufacturing...
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Line 7, column 371, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , skill
...orkers working in the manufacturing unit,skill of the workers working and many more.Th...
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Line 7, column 415, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Their
...ll of the workers working and many more.Their is no proof that on-the-job accidents h...
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Line 7, column 415, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
...ll of the workers working and many more.Their is no proof that on-the-job accidents h...
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Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ivity of the Alta Manufacturing. Thus,the argument is not completely sound.The ev...
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Line 9, column 43, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: The
...us,the argument is not completely sound.The evident in support with the claim that ...
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Line 9, column 282, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , since
...ity does little to prove that conclusion,since it doesnt address the assumptions alrea...
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Line 9, column 292, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ittle to prove that conclusion,since it doesnt address the assumptions already raised....
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Line 9, column 338, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Ultimately
... address the assumptions already raised.Ultimately the argument might have been strengthen...
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Line 9, column 378, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...Ultimately the argument might have been strengthen by providing supporting data from past ...
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Line 9, column 455, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one year', 'a year', or simply 'years'?
Suggestion: one year; a year; years
...ta from past few years rather than just one years,by assuring that Alta Manufacturing has...
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Line 9, column 464, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , by
...ast few years rather than just one years,by assuring that Alta Manufacturing has go...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, then, thus, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2692.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.53909465021 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.2903081092 2.78398813304 118% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.37037037037 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 833.4 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 81.0 22.8473053892 355% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 196.381785193 57.8364921388 340% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 448.666666667 119.503703932 375% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 81.0 23.324526521 347% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 7.83333333333 5.70786347227 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 31.0 5.25449101796 590% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.477278712354 0.218282227539 219% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.270459212954 0.0743258471296 364% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120081835586 0.0701772020484 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.301373990521 0.128457276422 235% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110164445052 0.0628817314937 175% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 45.2 14.3799401198 314% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -19.2 48.3550499002 -40% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 18.2 7.1628742515 254% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 36.1 12.197005988 296% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.04 12.5979740519 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.42 8.32208582834 125% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 31.0 12.3882235529 250% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 34.4 11.1389221557 309% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 11.9071856287 260% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 506 350
No. of Characters: 2647 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.743 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.231 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.945 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.773 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.501 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.733 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5