The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
“Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation cantered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-cantered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author claims that the children of the Tertia were reared by their biological parents, rather than the entire community as concluded by Dr. Field research carried out twenty years ago. While it may be true that the author’s recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village does not prove that the children were reared by their biological parents. I find the evidence unconvincing on several ground.
Firstly, there is no evidence to proof that the sample interviewed by the author for this research were major children that grew up in Tertia, that is, the majority of children interviewed could have been other children from the Island and only few from Tertia.
Additionally, the fact that the children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village could be as a result of questions asked during the interview. In other words, the graduate team of interviewers might have asked more about questions directed towards their biological parents rather than question about their upbringing.
Also, the article shows that the Dr.Field carried out the research about Tertia Island’s children twenty years ago, that children were reared by entire village, although without strong evidence to back the claim. For example, evidence such as no one can claim being the rightful owner of any child, or that the entire village is responsible for up keeping of the children such as; financing, believe and moral ethics.
Furthermore, the author neglect the fact that Dr. Field carried out the research twenty years ago. The authors assume that there has not been any difference or changes in the culture of the Tertia Island in the space of time and therefore proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation cantered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well.
In summary, for the author to prove that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid, there must be strong evidence to proof that the children of Tertia Island were raised by their parents. Evidence such as interviewing people born twenty years ago in Tertia Island, interviewing them about the person responsible for their up keeping in term of finance, moral ethics, believe (religion) and so, on.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 2009 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.374 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.459 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.449 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 190, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... research carried out twenty years ago. While it may be true that the author’s recent...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Tertia) must be used with a third-person verb: 'shows'.
Suggestion: shows
...e group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more tim...
^^^^
Line 1, column 547, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun ground seems to be countable; consider using: 'several grounds'.
Suggestion: several grounds
...ts. I find the evidence unconvincing on several ground. Firstly, there is no evidence to proo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 37, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Field
.... Also, the article shows that the Dr.Field carried out the research about Tertia I...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 404, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...children such as; financing, believe and moral ethics. Furthermore, the author n...
^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e has not been any difference or changes in the culture of the Tertia Island in t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, in summary, such as, talking about, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2056.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 399.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15288220551 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43562863702 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.438596491228 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 612.9 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.5087638381 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 171.333333333 119.503703932 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.25 23.324526521 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.8333333333 5.70786347227 225% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249047980779 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120957969676 0.0743258471296 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0923213266806 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155456256223 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0626351771053 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.5 14.3799401198 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.3550499002 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.