The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
The vise president of Sartorian company concluds in the memorandum to reopen the sales of alpaca overcoats which they stopped selling, five years ago. The memo provides several reasons to support the main idea that, earlier the company did not have good quality wool fabric, however now the comapany copious with high quality fabric, it would be feasible to sell the overcoats after five years. Moreover, the memo subsume that their competitors back then have now shifted to other clothing styles, and hence it would be beneficial to sell the alpaca coats. However, while the conclusion drawn by the vise president of the company might hold water, it rests on several unfounded assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramatically attenuates the persuasiveness of the argument. Therefore, the following points need to be addressed.
Firstly, the president of the company is comparing the clothing trend of the present day with the clothing trend five years ago without providing any solid evidence. The assumption does not stand on much solid grounds. Five year period is a long period, enough time to bring the change to a society. It might be possible that earlier, people were fond of wearing overcoats and were quite interested by the fasion trend, however, now the time has changed and people are more interested in modern fashion trends. The clothing trend does not take time to change because everyday the celebrities come up with brand new clothing styles and people who follow them tries to emulate their clothing styles, and hence the authors' assumption is dubious.
Secondly, the president of the Sartorian company suggested, now that they are able to produce the aplaca overcoats people will be amazed by the lower price rates and be more willing to buy it. However, the author fails to think about the fact that, over five years the living standard of the people might have changed. Due to increasing prices people have now adapted themselves to buy overpriced cloths and to make their standard constant. Hence, it is possible that people will not buy inexpensive cloths.
Moreover, the company did not provided enough peices of evidence about other companies who are selling multifarious clothing styles. The president of the company thinks that their competitors are not interested in selling the overcoats and hence it would be feasible to sell alpaca overcoats to gain profit. While the company makes this assumption, it is possible that other companies are making way more profit by selling varieties of cloths. Other companies might have been following the new clothing trends and adapting themselves with the upcomming fashion culture which might be proliferating their growth, better than the Sartorian company.
A careful analysis exposes the loopholes present in memorandum. In addition, the memo does not seem to be strong enough to buttress the conclusion of reselling the alpaca overcoats because all the reasons provided by the vice president are skeptical. Therefore, the president of the company should rethink and provide a logical and a foolproof solution.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2538 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.096 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.627 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 568, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...nd does not take time to change because everyday the celebrities come up with brand new ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 713, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...te their clothing styles, and hence the authors assumption is dubious. Secondly, the...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 31, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'provide'
Suggestion: provide
...loths. Moreover, the company did not provided enough peices of evidence about other c...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2602.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 498.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22489959839 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61194890073 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457831325301 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 801.9 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.915828348 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.904761905 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7142857143 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194734850182 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0604667375075 0.0743258471296 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0459400627653 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112167049824 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0442320618311 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.