The following memorandum is from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing, Inc.
"According to a survey last year of parents who purchased the Elkie, our most popular doll, 90 percent reported that although their children were extremely satisfied with the doll's features, the doll quickly wore out with use. In a follow-up survey of the same parents, 80 percent reported that they would recommend a more durable version of the doll to their friends. In response to these surveys, we have created the Elkie-Advanced Doll, which has similar features to the original Elkie Doll but is manufactured using the same higher quality materials used by Optima Doll Manufacturing, our most successful competitor. Because parents can now purchase the beloved Elkie doll and be sure that it won't quickly wear out with use, we predict that our profits will exceed those of Optima Doll Manufacturing this year."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
This memorandum from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing seeks to establish a connection between the quality of materials used for the Elkie doll and the profir of the company. In doing so, he has given reasons why the current improvement on the doll is sure to out-perform that of their competition Optima Doll. However plausible and well-reasoned this prediction appears, there are certain questions to be answered. Answering these questions would be instrumental in evaluating the possibility of the prediction and argument.
Firstly, what percent of parents would be likely to suggest the new advanced doll to their friends? The survey cited was carried out last year as such it can not be extrapolated to accurately predict outcomes this year. Parents may not be interested in buy the Elkie doll anymore. Possibly because there is a newer doll in the market that kids prefer to play with (probably even manufactured by Optima Doll) or perhaps their kids have out-grown playing with dolls. Therefore a survey similar to that of last year should be carried out to determine the likelihood of parents buying the doll. Because sales is a critical component of profit: without sales, there is not profit.
Secondly, how were the dolls played with by the kids? And how does that extent of usage compare with the current durability of the Elkie-advanced doll? This is important to ascertain that the new and improved doll would be able to withstand the rigour with which kids play with the dolls. For example, it kids attach the dolls to rockets and explode them in the air; the doll is certainly not going to be able to withstand that level of destruction from usage. This would also ascertain that the so-called ‘high quality” materials used to make the dolls would be sufficient to improve the durability of the dolls. The answer to this question can be preferably gotten by actively observing how children play with the dolls.
Also, what is the current profit level of Optima Dolls in terms of their cost of production and revenues? The answers to these shoul be juxtaposed with the information of Primo Doll. It is one thing to be certain of making profit, but the president predicts that Primo Doll’s profit would be more than that of Optimo. As such this information would be essential to determine the current level of performance of the two companies. The inability to establish that Primo Doll can outstrip Optimo would imply that this prediction is not feasible.
In conclusion, the president prediction of out-performing their competition because of higher quality of material now been used may or may not hold water on the long run. The effectively determine the feasibility of the predicition there are questions that would answer the likeliness of sales, comparison of usage to durability and the profit comparisons of the two companies.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2338 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.901 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.739 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.589 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...kids have out-grown playing with dolls. Therefore a survey similar to that of last year s...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 520, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '“' seems to be missing
...certain that the so-called ‘high quality” materials used to make the dolls would ...
^
Line 7, column 319, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ofit would be more than that of Optimo. As such this information would be essentia...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2397.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 477.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0251572327 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78132679416 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442348008386 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 733.5 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.0420257307 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.217391304 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7391304348 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.60869565217 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.293093976122 0.218282227539 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10668197084 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.076261659916 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176481247915 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0834293597358 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.