The following is from a recent email from the Diord Corp Human Resources Manager Tobor Technologies found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick days Tobor amended its employee insurance plan

Essay topics:

The following is from a recent email from the Diord Corp. Human Resources Manager: “Tobor Technologies
found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick
days. Tobor amended its employee insurance plan so that workers receive the same coverage for mental illness
as they do for physical illness. In addition, the company hired an on-site psychologist and created a system
that allows workers to schedule confidential counseling appointments. After one year, the number of sick days
used by employees declined by 10 percent. Diord Corp. has had an increase in employee sick days over the
past two years, so we should introduce a similar insurance plan and counseling program. These measures will
surely reduce employee absenteeism and cause an increase in productivity.”

The recent email from the HR manager of the company is flawed and full of unstated assumptions for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is based off unwarranted assumption that the company Diord Corp is same as Tobor Technologies, rendering its conclusion that introducing a similar insurance plan and counseling program will reduce the sick leaves and increase productivity.

Secondly, the argument fails to provide any justification that both the companies are similar. The work environment in Tobor Technologies can be much more depressing and less initiative for the employees working over there. The Diord Corp could be a place where there is a lot of teamwork and employees might be much more engaging or it can be located into a completely different city. The argument would have been stronger if it would have mentioned the work environment of both of the companies. Even then, the argument would have failed to provide sufficient details of each employee and their reason for leave.

The argument also assumes that the reduction of the leaves after a year were due to the introduction of the insurance and counselling. The employees could have fallen sick less amount of times during that year or the employees might also have left the company in the span of a year. Even if the reduction was due the implementation, the argument fails to provide the data of the reduction of number of leaves same employees compared to a year ago.

Finally, the argument claims that implementing the same policy can reduce the absenteeism and increase productivity without any warrant. The decrease in productivity could be because of the work setting and the amount of work that is allocated to employee. The argument also assumes that the increase in absence is due to mental health, maybe the employees were actually getting sicker in past 2 years. If there were data given which explicitly mentions the reason of leave, the argument would have been strong, still it would fail to warrant that implement the same plan would reduce the absence.

In conclusion, since the argument makes several unwarranted assumption and lack the data, it fails to convince that implementing the same insurance plan will increase the productivity and absenteeism of employees of Diord Corp.

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Average: 6.9 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 215, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e for the employees working over there. The Diord Corp could be a place where there...
^^^
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...cated into a completely different city. The argument would have been stronger if it...
^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had mentioned'?
Suggestion: had mentioned
...argument would have been stronger if it would have mentioned the work environment of both of the com...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, if, may, so, still, then, as to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1895.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 370.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12162162162 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81359140012 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.443243243243 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 588.6 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.1334340382 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.333333333 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6666666667 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.73333333333 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.191937044487 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669657910671 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0542969799113 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115513821531 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0459575435301 0.0628817314937 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1871 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.016 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.767 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.702 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5