The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
In an application for small business loans by a group of developers in the city of Monroe concluded that the jazz music club will be very marketable at Monroe due to the favored inclination of the citizens towards jazz music. However, these evidences presented needs to be evaluated in order to determine its validity before the conclusion can be accepted.
The assumption that the proximity of the new club will automatically enhance its profitable is far fetched and needs to be re-evaluated. Perhaps, the jazz funs are not club oriented and prefers in house jazz parties. Also, it is likely that the old jazz club does not even have a large turn from the locals and its mostly frequented from fans outside the locality. Hence, the evidence is flawed if the above example is true.
Further, a larger crowd at the annual summer festival doesn’t amount to having an interest in clubbing. People who lives at monroe might enjoys festivals than club outing. Perhaps, the outdoor merriment play a crucial role in their love for jazz. Also, it is possible that the jazz festival featured popular jazz musicians that are hard to come by on normal day or event, therefore, leading to massive turnout. If this example is true, then the evidence is unwaranted and holds no water.
Moreso, the fact that jazz fans spends $1000 on jazz entertainment does not mean that any proportion of it is spent on attending a jazz club. It is possible that these money are spent on jazz festivals and jazz radio programs sponsorship which lead to their popularity. In fact, these money could be spent on jazz musical video and other forms of entertainment excluding clubbing.
In conclusion, these evidences are unwaranted and greatly weaken the conclusion. Therefore, for this conclusion to be accepted the evidences needs to re evaluated .
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 160, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...ending a jazz club. It is possible that these money are spent on jazz festivals and jazz r...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 189, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sible that these money are spent on jazz festivals and jazz radio programs sponso...
^^
Line 3, column 278, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...hich lead to their popularity. In fact, these money could be spent on jazz musical video an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 162, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...pted the evidences needs to re evaluated .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1219.0 2260.96107784 54% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 247.0 441.139720559 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93522267206 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.96437052324 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66519447254 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 204.123752495 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582995951417 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 374.4 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.6287090315 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.0714285714 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6428571429 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.28571428571 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113190992772 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.039018557599 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0262267396675 0.0701772020484 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0641636844312 0.128457276422 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0224468967984 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 160, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...ending a jazz club. It is possible that these money are spent on jazz festivals and jazz r...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 189, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sible that these money are spent on jazz festivals and jazz radio programs sponso...
^^
Line 3, column 278, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...hich lead to their popularity. In fact, these money could be spent on jazz musical video an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 162, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...pted the evidences needs to re evaluated .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1219.0 2260.96107784 54% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 247.0 441.139720559 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93522267206 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.96437052324 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66519447254 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 204.123752495 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582995951417 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 374.4 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.6287090315 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.0714285714 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6428571429 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.28571428571 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113190992772 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.039018557599 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0262267396675 0.0701772020484 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0641636844312 0.128457276422 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0224468967984 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.