The following was written as a part of application for a small business loan by a group of developers on the city of Monroe.
“A jazz music club in the Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe; over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s jazz festival last summer, several well-known musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly’ which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money.”
The loan applicant claims that a jazz club in Monroe would be very profitable venture. Applicant also cites evidence that well-known musicians live in Monroe and jazz is very popular among people of Monroe. However before this can be properly evaluated, careful examination of this evidence must provide clear answers
Firstly, if the jazz club is in demand in Monroe then, why the nearest club is 65 miles away for all these years? If ever it was in demand Monroe would already have one or more jazz clubs. It is possible that not all people of Monroe loves jazz music — perhaps people living near the nearest jazz club would be more fond of the jazz music compare to people lives in Monroe. Further, there is also possibility that people who lives in Monroe also loves other kind of music more than jazz and loves to listen jazz occasionally once in a week for the entertainment purpose rather than being a die hard fan of it.
Furthermore, the 100,00 people who attended the Monroe jazz festival are not necessarily resident of Monroe. The loan applicant Prematurely assume that all the resident of Monroe attended jazz festival. However, this might not be the case. Perhaps, it is possible that many of them would be out-of-town visitors who came to Monroe for the jazz festival and majority of the resident of Monroe is less. If the above is true, then the argument does not hold the water.
Finally, the study which indicates jazz fans spend close to $1,00 per year is clearly dependable upon lifestyle of the people and the location of the jazz club, It is possible that people who lives in metropolitan cities spends more thane people who lives in rural areas— perhaps the people who spends money would like ti]o do it for entertainment purpose or only .for the food they enjoyed in the jazz club. If this is the case, the loan application would not serve the goal.
In conclusion, the applicants evidence lends to little credible support for the business loan application. To persuade me that the jazz club can make money, the applicant would need to provide clear evidence, then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed application a grant loan for a small business.
- Some people believe it is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public. Others believe that the public has a right to be fully informed. 50
- "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records" 33
- The following was written as a part of application for a small business loan by a group of developers on the city of Monroe. “A jazz music club in the Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles awa 77
- Giving quality time on research one can be benefited in numerous way and led to a new innovation. 83
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 75
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1783 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.655 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.386 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.896 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 208, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...is very popular among people of Monroe. However before this can be properly evaluated, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 60, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...which indicates jazz fans spend close to ,00 per year is clearly dependable upon l...
^^
Line 7, column 320, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '[' seems to be missing
...he people who spends money would like ti]o do it for entertainment purpose or onl...
^
Line 7, column 362, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... do it for entertainment purpose or only .for the food they enjoyed in the jazz cl...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, so, then, well, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1835.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 384.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77864583333 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4507837266 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.463541666667 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 93.4982828125 57.8364921388 162% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.333333333 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.398774027245 0.218282227539 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156012421411 0.0743258471296 210% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0858306617637 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238466511165 0.128457276422 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0525774265016 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.