An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

The author recommends that the government of Tagus should promote the new breed of millet that is high in vitamin A and that the people of Tagus will readily adopt this new variety based on the premise that millet is already a staple food in Tagus. However, before this recommendation can be assumed to be able to cause the predicted result, there are some questions that should first be answered.
First of all, there's an assumption that the international development organization responded to a vitamin A deficiency among people in Tagus. Are the people considered in the survey or test conducted by this organization a representative of the vitamin A status of the people of Tagus? It is possible that the survey conducted included just two people from Tagus that are deficient in vitamin A and that the bulk of the population of Tagus although impoverished are not vitamin A deficient. It is also possible that the said survey was conducted in an hospital ward in which only people that are vitamin A deficient reside. If any of these scenarios prove to be possible, then there's need for the question about the people that were involved in whatever survey the international organization must have carried out.
Secondly, there is an assumption that that the breed of millet available in Tagus is not rich in vitamin A. There's need for answers to the question; Is the millet consumed by the people of Tagus rich in vitamin A? It is possible that the current breed of Millet available to these people is already very rich in vitamin A and that their deficiency of Vitamin A comes from the inability of millet to sufficiently cater for their vitamin A needs. It is also possible that during the preparation of the millet, people of Tagus typically boil the millet at very high temperature which erodes the food of its vitamin A content which is why they are deficient in vitamin A and not because of the millet. Should any of these scenarios be found to hold water, then the recommendation is flawed and begs the need for answers to the question about the vitamin A content of the current breed of millet available in Tagus.
Additionally, the recommendation is based on an assumption that the people of Tagus will readily adopt this new breed simply because millet is already a staple food in Tagus. We do however need answers to the question; Is the new breed the same as the current one? Is the taste and form the same as the one present in Tagus? It is possible that the new breed of millet tastes differently from the old one and the majority of the population of Tagus do not like this new taste and therefore will choose not to take this new breed of millet. It is also possible that the new breed of millet will be sold at an exorbitant price in the markets of Tagus and that most people in Tagus cannot afford this new breed. Should these scenarios be found to be plausible, then there's need for the questions about the taste and form of the new variety of millet to be answered.
As it stands, the recommendation cannot be regarded as one viable enough to effect the predicted result because it is based on several unwarranted assumptions and there's need for the questions stated above to be answered and for further evidence to be offered before we can consider it a reasonable recommendation.

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Average: 6.9 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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The author recommends that the governmen...
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...uestions that should first be answered. First of all, theres an assumption that ...
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... first be answered. First of all, theres an assumption that the international de...
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Line 2, column 482, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
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...s although impoverished are not vitamin A deficient. It is also possible that the said surv...
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Line 2, column 553, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
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...e that the said survey was conducted in an hospital ward in which only people that...
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...se scenarios prove to be possible, then theres need for the question about the people ...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...l organization must have carried out. Secondly, there is an assumption that th...
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.... Secondly, there is an assumption that that the breed of millet available in Tagus ...
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...able in Tagus is not rich in vitamin A. Theres need for answers to the question; Is th...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...nt breed of millet available in Tagus. Additionally, the recommendation is base...
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...cenarios be found to be plausible, then theres need for the questions about the taste ...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... new variety of millet to be answered. As it stands, the recommendation cannot ...
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Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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... on several unwarranted assumptions and theres need for the questions stated above to ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2726.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 584.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66780821918 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91590194646 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6983411117 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.321917808219 0.468620217663 69% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 891.9 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.0420731163 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.473684211 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7368421053 23.324526521 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05263157895 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.484278026748 0.218282227539 222% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.190762532193 0.0743258471296 257% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0892128461303 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275405125426 0.128457276422 214% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105470459126 0.0628817314937 168% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.4 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 584 350
No. of Characters: 2693 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.916 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.611 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.469 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.432 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.225 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5