An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

__________

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this prompt, an international organization is finding ways to fight against vitamin A deficiency of Tagus with the help of a new breed of millet that is said to be higher in concentration of vitamin A. For this, they will pay higher subsidies to the farmers for cultivating this particular millet. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated, these questions must be answered.
First of all, we need proper data and values of concentration of vitamin A in both- the millet that was previously cultivated as well as the new recommended millet. Maybe, there is a minor difference in concentration which becomes unfeasible for the extra price that it requires to be cultivated. So, maybe we should look into other food items for higher vitamin A concentration and not millets. We also need the exact price involved to cultivate the crop and need to check that the final store price is within the reach of local people. New variant crop can be of no use if it is priced much higher than the previous crop as no one would like to pay more for their staple food. These cost analysis must be presented along with these recommendations for validation purposes.
Secondly, since millet is the staple crop of Tagus, it is hard to believe that people would buy new variant of it because it may force people to change their taste which people may not like. Maybe the traditional millet produced in Tagus has a higher carbohydrate concentration leading it to be a bit more sweet. And perhaps the new variant millet has a pinch of salty taste in it. Then it would be so difficult to make people change their main food habit even if they are told that the new variant has a higher concentration of vitamin A. Again, we need the concentration difference and advertize it on a big scale to make people believe that the new variant is much better than the previous one.
The government, as the prompt says, must do everything in order to promote the new type of millet. We need to know the actual motivation of this statement. The statement should have called the government to work on vitamin A deficiency but it specifies the government to work on the new type of millet. Now, this looks a bit skeptical and hints towards corruption. Perhaps the international organization never worried about the vitamin a deficiency itself, it is just focusing on human trial of the new millet type. If its intentions were pious, they should have told the government to eradicate deficiency at any cost and not just focused particularly on the new millet.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to provide answers to the above questions, and offer more evidence then only we can fully evaluate the recommendations and work upon them. Relevant data and numbers would give a righteous chance to consider the recommendations and then only can someone decide if these changes are really necessary or not.

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Average: 5.9 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 127, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...e millet that was previously cultivated as well as the new recommended millet. Maybe, ther...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 214, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...bove questions, and offer more evidence then only we can fully evaluate the recommen...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, well, in conclusion, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2485.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 518.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7972972973 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86314263608 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46332046332 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 793.8 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1429448602 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.043478261 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5217391304 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.34782608696 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.369794155722 0.218282227539 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109156538158 0.0743258471296 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899858939595 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210748575391 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123857533174 0.0628817314937 197% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 518 350
No. of Characters: 2438 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.771 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.707 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.817 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.045 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.303 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5