Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, th

Essay topics:

Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, the population should not return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. Because this trend is expected to continue over the next several years, the Madagascan shrimp will quickly become an endangered species.

The argument put forth by the author seems to hold many pre conceived assumptions. In my opinion, these assumptions should be convincingly tackled in order to come up with a concrete conclusion.

'Recent incursions into the habitat of the shrimps 'as asserted by the author may or may not lead to the significant reduction in the population of shrimps for which relevant figures seem to be missing which may create a confusion in reader's mind while perceiving this claim. Moreover, with the breeding season, the shrimps are expected to increase in the deep-sea as anticipated by the author but it may also be the other way round as shrimps generally travel away from the sea in the breeding season. The concern that 'Nonetheless,the population should not return to the levels before fishing boats arrived' point the audience about author's pre assumption that fishermen being the only cause for the decrease in shrimp population leading to their characterization as endangered species which may not be considered as the lone reason for the drop in population as other geographical as well as ecological factors may also affect their population specifically in the deep-sea. It may also be possible that the shrimps have migrated in numbers from the sea in search of undisturbed habitat.

So, as a concluding remark, I would suggest looking into the complete picture in order to put forth an argument which if backed by sufficient figures may prove to be a strong case . Albeit, presently the argument seems to be relatively weak in order to consider it for further scrutiny.

Votes
Average: 5 (3 votes)
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Essays by user Pushkar A Pandit :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 52, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun pre seems to be countable; consider using: 'many pres'.
Suggestion: many pres
...t put forth by the author seems to hold many pre conceived assumptions. In my opinion, t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 549, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...son. The concern that ' Nonetheless,the population should not return to the lev...
^^^^
Line 5, column 119, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...in order to put forth an argument which if backed by sufficient figures may prove ...
^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...nt figures may prove to be a strong case . Albeit, presently the argument seems to...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, well, while, as well as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1338.0 2260.96107784 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 262.0 441.139720559 59% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10687022901 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02323427807 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00705411892 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.56106870229 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 413.1 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 126.340252394 57.8364921388 218% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 167.25 119.503703932 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.75 23.324526521 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.375 5.70786347227 199% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217419476698 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0937096790751 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852383151352 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102730416975 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107687671005 0.0628817314937 171% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.3799401198 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.95 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.5 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 262 350
No. of Characters: 1293 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.023 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.935 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.818 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.893 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.672 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5