“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.”
The arguments states that the smith corporation should not be permitted to develope the land of the Youngtown wildlife preserve, as it has some deletereous consequences for the area surrounding it. stated this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which the argument could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on the assumption for whcih there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, argument readily assumes that the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for the surrounding area. this statement is a stretch and is not substantiated in any way. For instance, there may or may not be the reasons for the consequnces expected by the author. The Sundarban wildlife sanctuary in India is facing the extinction of rare species, as the government allowed the setup of factories in the surrounding area. The argument could have been much more clearer if the author explicitly mentioned what and how exactly is the development causes the adverse affects. The author can give supporting evidences of similar development having disastrous affects on the sanctuary.
Second, the argument assumes that the construction of the small hotel on the land will harm the sanctuary. this again is a very weak and unsupported statement. The author fails to mention proper evidence to support his statement, even though the company promised to preserve the sanctuary. To illustrate, the author could give examples such as: waste produced from the hotel can pollute the near by river, which have adverse affect on the polulation of the bird species, which rely on the river for drinking water; the visitors of the hotel may hunt the birds for recreation purpose. Clearly, the author fails to mention how exactly constructing a small hotel will have harm the sanctuary.
Finally, the argument concludes that the sale of the land to smith corporation for constructing the hotel will benefit the community. The author should explain all the above mentioned questions on how exactly his argument is valid for the current situation, by giving proper explaination and supporting evidences. Without enough evidences, it looks like the argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than a substantiated one.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons. The argument could be arguably strengthened if it provides enough evidences to support it. it is better to have the knowledge of all the contributing factors, in order to assess a particular situation or a decision. In our case, the construction of a small hotel amist of the sanctuary.n.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2184 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.091 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.853 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.715 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'state'.
Suggestion: state
The arguments states that the smith corporation should not b...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... consequences for the surrounding area. this statement is a stretch and is not subst...
^^^^
Line 7, column 474, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'clearer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: clearer
...area. The argument could have been much more clearer if the author explicitly mentioned what...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 590, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...development causes the adverse affects. The author can give supporting evidences of...
^^^
Line 13, column 108, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...el on the land will harm the sanctuary. this again is a very weak and unsupported st...
^^^^
Line 13, column 392, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
...produced from the hotel can pollute the near by river, which have adverse affect on the...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 426, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...e the near by river, which have adverse affect on the polulation of the bird species, whi...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, hence, if, look, may, second, so, then, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 36.0 16.3942115768 220% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2263.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 429.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27505827506 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9225935812 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4662004662 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 691.2 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.4353990581 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.863636364 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.40909090909 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133084406458 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.044957427756 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0640259564842 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0817155647892 0.128457276422 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440489727634 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.