Tusk University should build a new recreational facility, both to attract new students and to better serve the needs of our current student body. Tusk projects that enrollment will double over the next 10 years, based on current trends. The new student body is expected to reflect a much higher percentage of commuter students than we currently enroll. This will make the existing facilities inadequate. Moreover, the cost of health and recreation club membership in our community has increased rapidly in recent years. Thus, students will find it much more advantageous to make use of the facilities on campus. Finally, an attractive new recreation center would make prospective students, especially athletically gifted ones, more likely to enroll at Tusk.
The author is in favor of the construction of a new recreational facility in Tusk University because the author believes that the new recreational facility can serve the needs of current students and attract prospective students. However, the author assumed that students will use this recreational facility after it has been built and overlooked other factors that attract students, such as competitive programs, attractive scholarships, and intellectual teachers. Therefore, the assumptions of the author are flawed.
Tusk University is expected to enroll more students in the future, and the author used this information to claim that more students will make current facilities inadequate. However, the author has not provided supporting evidence, such as the capacity and usage of current facilities. Suppose, for example, only a quarter of all students use the equipment in recreational facilities. In theory, current recretional facilities would still have vacancies even if the number of students enroled by Tusk University was doubled. The author should provide more evidence, such as the proportion of new students who intend to use new facilities, to support the assumption of the author.
The author stated that students would use the new facility because the cost of health and recreation clubs nearby has increased in recent years. By making this assertion, the author is assuming that students would switch over from these clubs to the new recreational facility to reduce their expenditure. However, the author has not provided data regarding the current number of students who visit these clubs. If current students do not have club membership for these clubs, then the establishment of a new recreational facility would not cause students to change their membership and students might not find the new facility financially advantageous.
Diverse factors influence the decision of prospective students, and the author has argued that a new recreational facility would attract such students. This statement is not entirely incorrect, but by making this statement, the author has overlooked other factors such as programs and scholarships. Students might have chose Tusk University because it offers full scholarships to its students. In that case, the new recreational facility would be an additional bonus for students but it would not be the main incentive for students to enroll in Tusk University.
In conclusion, the author has advocated for a new recreational facility in Tusk University because the author believes that the new facility will better serve the needs of students, provide an affordable alternative, and attract gifted students. However, the author made erroneously assumed that studnets demand the new facility and the new facility is the priority of gifted students. Consequently, the author made flawed assumptions.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-05-29 | Mateo Chen | 66 | view |
| 2022-08-29 | thelmascakess | 50 | view |
| 2021-07-02 | Sommy | 73 | view |
| 2015-09-27 | a.chaharsoughi | 65 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 321, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'chosen'.
Suggestion: chosen
...s and scholarships. Students might have chose Tusk University because it offers full ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 327, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to tusk'
Suggestion: To tusk
...scholarships. Students might have chose Tusk University because it offers full schol...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tudents to enroll in Tusk University. In conclusion, the author has advocated ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, look, regarding, still, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2434.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 437.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56979405034 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99774311301 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.391304347826 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 752.4 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7111552047 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.105263158 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68421052632 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.404838585515 0.218282227539 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158299660784 0.0743258471296 213% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103726992439 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.278355269872 0.128457276422 217% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0375844957803 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 321, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'chosen'.
Suggestion: chosen
...s and scholarships. Students might have chose Tusk University because it offers full ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 327, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to tusk'
Suggestion: To tusk
...scholarships. Students might have chose Tusk University because it offers full schol...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tudents to enroll in Tusk University. In conclusion, the author has advocated ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, look, regarding, still, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2434.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 437.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56979405034 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99774311301 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.391304347826 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 752.4 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7111552047 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.105263158 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68421052632 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.404838585515 0.218282227539 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158299660784 0.0743258471296 213% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103726992439 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.278355269872 0.128457276422 217% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0375844957803 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.